That being said, I'm going to leave a lot of things out (so sorry). But hey, shoulda been there. I'm gonna cover the major topics. Um let's see. Went home for 3 weeks. Wunderwoman got married. Yay! Worked some football camps down in The Swamp. Mini Pumpkinseed family reunion in O-town. Then back to Norfolk for a day in preparation for the event that will occupy the majority of this post.
The National Certified Superhero Convention. It moves around every year and this year it was in Philadelphia (born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days, chillin out, maxin, relaxin, cool and all, shootin some b-ball outside of a school ...). Boy was this a crazy trip. I mean a great networking opportunity. We were there a total 5 days but man it seemed longer. It's best to attack it day by day.
Day 1: So ya girl, J. Pumpkinseed, Certified Superhero rode up and stayed with 3 of my fellow certified superheroes: Sapphire (duh), B-Line, and Ridin Dirty. Took us forever to get there. When we finally got there, we checked into the Sheraton City Center. Shoutout to Candace the girl at the front desk for the hookup on parking. Blah, blah, blah. So what was special about Day 1? For the 2nd time in the past six months (the previous occasion was totally blogworthy but I forgot. So sue me. Shoulda been there) I was accosted by a bum (homeless person, streetwalker, etc if u wanna be PC. I don't, you'll see why) in a public place. We were in a bar speakin to some homies when I accidently made eye contact (stupid) with this bum. So of course he comes over to talk to Cam Jansen (oh yeah, Cam Jansen was there) and me. He starts by telling us that his name is Mr. Tony and he is a multimillion dollar tycoon. He's a celebrity which he proved by handing out flyers of himself from his own magical plastic bag. He is also an entertainer and dancer. So naturally I challenge him to a dance-off. Now he has some decent footwork for a dude his age but not good enough to make money off of. Sapphire sees all of this and naturally wants to immortalize the moment by taking a picture. So she starts snappin pics and when Mr. Tony sees this he goes over to his bag and pulls out his own Kodak disposable camera and starts snappin pics too. So dude asks us to watch his bag while he goes to the bathroom (yeah cuz ppl in the bar are gonna steal the contents of your smelly plastic bag). When he comes back, (Afterthought: I wonder if he washed his hands) he shows us these bus tix for all these cities along the east coast and says he's goin on tour. Legit bus tix. The real deal ... oh wait. Hold up. What's today's date? June 22nd. Hmm. All of these tix are dated June 21st. Umm. Me: "Mr. Tony these tix are all dated yesterday. I don't think u can use them anymore." Mr. Tony: "I can use them whenever I want!" ... Ok. Note to self: Don't mention his tix. So then it got weird. (Yes, THEN, it got weird).
Mr. Tony: Can I have your number? I think ur my soulmate. Please keep in mind this is a old, smelly, black man.
Me: Um, your soulmate? What makes you say that?
Mr. Tony: Well you talked to me, you watched my stuff for me while I went to the bathroom, and we have the same nose.
Me: ... We do not have the same nose.
Mr. Tony: Yes we do. (We don't) Dude then pulls out his cell phone. I honestly did not expect him to have one.
Me: I don't give my number out to strangers.
Mr. Tony: Well let me buy u a drink then. He has $12! Richest bum I know.
Me: No. I'm good.
At this point I am saved by one of my fellow certified superheros: This is our friend. Go away!
Yeah. Accosted by a bum. In a public place. Day one.
Days 2-5: A blur. Hmm. Let me hit the hi points:
- We partied in the VIP a couple nights.
- Gators went to the national quiz bowl. Didn't win. Gotta give other schools some hope.
- Sapphire made $14 dancing on the bar
- Ridin Dirty stayed out til 5 multiple nights and somehow made it back to our room every night.
- Ridin Dirty saved B-Line's life. As Ridin Dirty was comin in late one night, she passed B-Line in the hallway who, in her sleep, was making a B-Line for the elevator. Somehow she got B-Line back into the room. However, B-Line woke me up, got me to get out of my bed and immediately took my spot! U know I was heated. However, Ridin Dirty was able to convince me to just take B-Line's spot. And all was right in the world.
- Met and argued with several cab drivers.
- Saw a car-boat.
- Had a lady watch us as we filled our water cups.
- Sapphire made socks out of tape. And wore them in public.
- K. Pho fell in love with a waitress at a pizza joint. And named her Sophie.
So yeah, that's what you've been missing out on. This post took a lot longer than I anticipated. Expect another soon. Oh and if ur drivin down Military Highway and a dude stares into u car, it's not because there's 4 girls in the car or u have dark tint. It's because he thinks ur ridin dirty.
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