More Tree Rats, Updates from Sparta & Shoutouts

Sooo, i came home to a houseful of flies about 3 days ago. Seriously, about 100 flies swarming around Sapphire when I got home. I guess the maggots that the pest guy warned us about finally hatched. Disgusting. I been calling what I thought was my landlord's cell phone but was told that it was actually his home phone (Claire thinks its a lie. She says that's really the cell phone cuz she called it once and he said he was away. Plus he gave us the number on the back of his card. Wtf?). Anywho, they say there's nothing they can do and that we need to wait it out. Well all the flies are dead now. Thanks in large part to Sapphire's super fly-killing skills. I seen another tree rat pickin leaves out a tree and climbing into the house. I even seen him pick a leaf, climb halfway up the wall, come back down, drop the leaf, and pick a better one before climbing back up the house. If the landlord don't stop trippin, Imma show up at the leasing office (a 30 min drive w/o traffic) and tell him to come chill in my place for an hour and see how he feels.



Updates from Sparta:

- Speaking of tree rats, we have a squirrel in the Sparta Certified Superhero HQ. They're crawling around in the ceiling throwing insulation down. Of course ...

- One of our football players was actin like a real "female dog" today. Please tell me if u disagree:

Player (sweating profusely): Do u have a towel?

Me: No.

Player (w/Attitude): Man! Where the other f**kin trainers at?

Me: We don't carry towels so it doesn't matter. Ask [Manager]

Player (yelling across the field) : [Manager]! [Manager]! Man bring the towel over here!

[Manager tells him to hold on cuz he's talkin to someone.]

Me: Man do u need a towel that bad?

Player: Yeah my sweat is gettin in my eyes.

[I start looking thru my utility belt for some gauze.]

Player: I can't believe this s***! Don't nobody wanna do their job.

[Instantly, I stop searching and could care less if he went completely blind at that moment.]

[Player goes in to participate in the play].

Me (to Teammate): Dang. Is he on his period?

[Manager comes to sideline and places the towel on the sideline].

[Player comes back to sideline. Snatches towel up, wipes face, and throws it onto the water bottles.]

Me: Wow really? He's actin like a girl on her period. (To injured player): Don't drop the soap.

I really had to restrain myself because I was super tempted to ask him if he needed a tampon.

Anyway, I do know some cool athletes ...

I gotta shoutout 3 of my favorite ball players:

Jamaica's Next Top Model - Playin international ball in Spain. Espero que estar practicando su espanol.

Lottie Dottie - Playin international ball in Israel. Double doubles already? Ridiculous!

Peter Parker - Playin international ball in Turkey. Apparently the only person in Turkey with dreads. Represent!

Ok peeps. I'm out. Not without leaving u with a disgusting new invention that I just learned about courtesy of Bravo. Three words ppl: placenta teddy bears. Mmmm .... Enjoy. http://blogs.babble.com/strollerderby/2009/10/01/placenta-teddy-bear-so-snuggly/