*This is gonna be quick. I gotta leave for work soon.*
Great news peeps! I finally got a new laptop (Thank you Jesus!). Made the big move from a PC to a Mac. And to all my PC ppl out there, I'll admit that although I was pretty hesitant to it at first, I'm glad I did it. My wallet prolly wishes i got a PC but that's a whole nother story for a whole nother blog post (that most likely won't ever happen cuz i don't need ya'll in my pocket like that). But yeah, ur girl got a new computer. Life is good.
Quotes from Sparta:
Me (to player before game): It's cold outside. U not gonna wear gloves?
Player: Girl! I'm a man, not a boy! I don't need no gloves!
******************************************************************
Before the battle against Troy (cross town rival school. See what I did there? Try to keep up peeps. Read a book.) me and my fellow superheroes are in the locker room bringing the soldiers some water. There's a lot of laughter in there and one of the Coaches doesn't like this.
Coach: Hey! I ain't never killed a b*tch. But I d*mn sure know that if I was gonna kill a b*tch, 30 mins before I was gonna do it, I wouldn't be laughing and kee-keeing!
******************************************************************
Last thing. LilBruh put me on this so I'll give credit where credit is due. There's this dude on You Tube called Mr. Chi-City. Dude has a bunch of videos that I think are hilarious. Gotta check out the Man vs. Bug video and the Christmas Giveaway. Ooh. Also the one about the fridge too. Plus he has a bunch more. Not gonna lie, they're pretty long but so are a lot of my posts. So if u can read one of my posts, u can watch some of his videos.
So that's all for now peeps. Next time I'm gonna post some songs and stuff like that. Haven't done that in a minute and now that I have a good computer, i can finally get some good music. Stay warm peeps. This is J. Pumpkinseed, Certified Superhero signing off from the top of Ice Mountain with 5 parkas, 3 pairs of pants, some uggs, and a hot pocket. (<--- No idea where that came from).
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
More Tree Rats, Updates from Sparta & Shoutouts
Sooo, i came home to a houseful of flies about 3 days ago. Seriously, about 100 flies swarming around Sapphire when I got home. I guess the maggots that the pest guy warned us about finally hatched. Disgusting. I been calling what I thought was my landlord's cell phone but was told that it was actually his home phone (Claire thinks its a lie. She says that's really the cell phone cuz she called it once and he said he was away. Plus he gave us the number on the back of his card. Wtf?). Anywho, they say there's nothing they can do and that we need to wait it out. Well all the flies are dead now. Thanks in large part to Sapphire's super fly-killing skills. I seen another tree rat pickin leaves out a tree and climbing into the house. I even seen him pick a leaf, climb halfway up the wall, come back down, drop the leaf, and pick a better one before climbing back up the house. If the landlord don't stop trippin, Imma show up at the leasing office (a 30 min drive w/o traffic) and tell him to come chill in my place for an hour and see how he feels.
Updates from Sparta:
Updates from Sparta:
- Speaking of tree rats, we have a squirrel in the Sparta Certified Superhero HQ. They're crawling around in the ceiling throwing insulation down. Of course ...
- One of our football players was actin like a real "female dog" today. Please tell me if u disagree:
Player (sweating profusely): Do u have a towel?
Me: No.
Player (w/Attitude): Man! Where the other f**kin trainers at?
Me: We don't carry towels so it doesn't matter. Ask [Manager]
Player (yelling across the field) : [Manager]! [Manager]! Man bring the towel over here!
[Manager tells him to hold on cuz he's talkin to someone.]
Me: Man do u need a towel that bad?
Player: Yeah my sweat is gettin in my eyes.
[I start looking thru my utility belt for some gauze.]
Player: I can't believe this s***! Don't nobody wanna do their job.
[Instantly, I stop searching and could care less if he went completely blind at that moment.]
[Player goes in to participate in the play].
Me (to Teammate): Dang. Is he on his period?
[Manager comes to sideline and places the towel on the sideline].
[Player comes back to sideline. Snatches towel up, wipes face, and throws it onto the water bottles.]
Me: Wow really? He's actin like a girl on her period. (To injured player): Don't drop the soap.
I really had to restrain myself because I was super tempted to ask him if he needed a tampon.
Anyway, I do know some cool athletes ...
I gotta shoutout 3 of my favorite ball players:
Jamaica's Next Top Model - Playin international ball in Spain. Espero que estar practicando su espanol.
Lottie Dottie - Playin international ball in Israel. Double doubles already? Ridiculous!
Peter Parker - Playin international ball in Turkey. Apparently the only person in Turkey with dreads. Represent!
Ok peeps. I'm out. Not without leaving u with a disgusting new invention that I just learned about courtesy of Bravo. Three words ppl: placenta teddy bears. Mmmm .... Enjoy. http://blogs.babble.com/strollerderby/2009/10/01/placenta-teddy-bear-so-snuggly/
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Attic Dwelling Tree Rats
Sooo, its been a while since something really strange has happened at The Penthouse (Formerly The Deuce). Which of course means that Sapphire and I were long overdue.
Day 1: So about two weeks ago, I came home from work to find a few flies inside the house. Annoying but no big deal. Killed a few, did some homework, and called it a day.
Day 2: The next day, I woke up and went to work then class. When I got home I was met with a rather unpleasant odor and the flies had multiplied exponentially. I was greeted at the top of the stairs by Sapphire who was not feelin the smell either. I'm talkin about 20-30 flies flying around the place. Major Problem. So we start walking around, looking for a source for the smell and the flies. It seemed like the smell was worse in our front porch room. And the flies were everywhere. It was evident that something had died. We looked all over the house and decided that it must be in the attic. We live in a nice neighborhood and there are a lot of squirrels crawling around outside so I assumed that's what it was.
Sapphire, being much braver than me, decided to go up in the attic and see if the smell was worse up there. She opened the door and crawled up the ladder to go up in the attic and before she even stepped foot in there she made a strange discovery. Next to the ladder was an apple, an empty water bottle, and some flowers. Oh hell to the naw. She hurried down the ladder and looked at me with confusion on her face. Well u know I wasn't bout to crawl up there. Given our luck, we very well could have a squatter in our attic.
In order to get rid of the flies, we decided to make an emergency trip to Walmart. We were up in Walmart gettin whatever we could to get rid of the flies. Not only were they super annoying, but they made it hard to concentrate and as a professional procrastinator I of course had an assignment due the next day. We bought a bunch of air fresheners and fly tape. We wanted one of those electrical fly zappers but of course they didn't have one. Turned out that the fly tape was useless anyway but I digress.
On our way back we called up some of our male classmates, E-Newt and Banana Republic to come check the attic for us and make sure that there wasn't a squatter in the attic. When we got home we were also met by K. Pho who needed to use our wireless. Long story short, all 3 guys ended up in our attic. They made several interesting discoveries: 1) No squatter. 2) The apple was a fake Christmas decoration. 3) There was also a single crutch and typewriter up there. 4) The smell was definitely stronger up in the attic. 5) Rat poop. At the mention of rat poop, Sapphire immediately called the landlord's office and left a message about the situation.
Day 3: Of course they didn't return the phone call so I called again and they sent the smelly handyman to our house. According to Sapphire, he searched the attic and didn't find anything but said that there was definitely something dead up there. Uh, no duh. By now, our place smelled so bad we had to close off certain rooms to keep the smell secluded to certain rooms and not contaminate the rest of the house. But it still smelled awful. And now the kitchen smelled the worst. The handyman basically just told us that we'd have to live with it cuz there was nothing he could do. Not cool. So I decided to call up the landlord that night on his personal cell phone and talk to him personally. Naturally he didn't answer but I left him a nice little message. The next morning I got a phone call from a pest removal guy.
Day 4: The pest removal guy went up in the attic and almost immediately found the culprit: a dead squirrel. Or as I like to call him, The Attic Dwelling Tree Rat. He deoderized the area (directly above the kitchen) in the attic and in the kitchen. Basically, what happened was that somehow the squirrel got up into the attic and couldn't get out so he died. And the rotting body formed maggots which is where the flies came from. He set some traps up outside the house and was able to find 4 more squirrels and keep them out of the house.
So, the house doesn't really smell anymore and all the flies are gone. Just another crazy day in VA. I'm seriously starting to think that the City of Norfolk hates me. I already don't get along with squirrels. K. Pho was over here the other night and he said that he thought he heard something crawling around either in the ceiling or between the walls. Probably another squirrel. Great. Sometimes I wish I made this stuff up ...
Day 1: So about two weeks ago, I came home from work to find a few flies inside the house. Annoying but no big deal. Killed a few, did some homework, and called it a day.
Day 2: The next day, I woke up and went to work then class. When I got home I was met with a rather unpleasant odor and the flies had multiplied exponentially. I was greeted at the top of the stairs by Sapphire who was not feelin the smell either. I'm talkin about 20-30 flies flying around the place. Major Problem. So we start walking around, looking for a source for the smell and the flies. It seemed like the smell was worse in our front porch room. And the flies were everywhere. It was evident that something had died. We looked all over the house and decided that it must be in the attic. We live in a nice neighborhood and there are a lot of squirrels crawling around outside so I assumed that's what it was.
Sapphire, being much braver than me, decided to go up in the attic and see if the smell was worse up there. She opened the door and crawled up the ladder to go up in the attic and before she even stepped foot in there she made a strange discovery. Next to the ladder was an apple, an empty water bottle, and some flowers. Oh hell to the naw. She hurried down the ladder and looked at me with confusion on her face. Well u know I wasn't bout to crawl up there. Given our luck, we very well could have a squatter in our attic.
In order to get rid of the flies, we decided to make an emergency trip to Walmart. We were up in Walmart gettin whatever we could to get rid of the flies. Not only were they super annoying, but they made it hard to concentrate and as a professional procrastinator I of course had an assignment due the next day. We bought a bunch of air fresheners and fly tape. We wanted one of those electrical fly zappers but of course they didn't have one. Turned out that the fly tape was useless anyway but I digress.
On our way back we called up some of our male classmates, E-Newt and Banana Republic to come check the attic for us and make sure that there wasn't a squatter in the attic. When we got home we were also met by K. Pho who needed to use our wireless. Long story short, all 3 guys ended up in our attic. They made several interesting discoveries: 1) No squatter. 2) The apple was a fake Christmas decoration. 3) There was also a single crutch and typewriter up there. 4) The smell was definitely stronger up in the attic. 5) Rat poop. At the mention of rat poop, Sapphire immediately called the landlord's office and left a message about the situation.
Day 3: Of course they didn't return the phone call so I called again and they sent the smelly handyman to our house. According to Sapphire, he searched the attic and didn't find anything but said that there was definitely something dead up there. Uh, no duh. By now, our place smelled so bad we had to close off certain rooms to keep the smell secluded to certain rooms and not contaminate the rest of the house. But it still smelled awful. And now the kitchen smelled the worst. The handyman basically just told us that we'd have to live with it cuz there was nothing he could do. Not cool. So I decided to call up the landlord that night on his personal cell phone and talk to him personally. Naturally he didn't answer but I left him a nice little message. The next morning I got a phone call from a pest removal guy.
Day 4: The pest removal guy went up in the attic and almost immediately found the culprit: a dead squirrel. Or as I like to call him, The Attic Dwelling Tree Rat. He deoderized the area (directly above the kitchen) in the attic and in the kitchen. Basically, what happened was that somehow the squirrel got up into the attic and couldn't get out so he died. And the rotting body formed maggots which is where the flies came from. He set some traps up outside the house and was able to find 4 more squirrels and keep them out of the house.
So, the house doesn't really smell anymore and all the flies are gone. Just another crazy day in VA. I'm seriously starting to think that the City of Norfolk hates me. I already don't get along with squirrels. K. Pho was over here the other night and he said that he thought he heard something crawling around either in the ceiling or between the walls. Probably another squirrel. Great. Sometimes I wish I made this stuff up ...
Updates from Sparta
A thousand apologies blog. I have forsaken you. It has been almost 3 weeks since my last entry. Of course that doesn't mean that the randomness has ceased.
Updates from Sparta:
1) Ferrari bit it hard at practice by stepping in a hole. A hole that she knew was there. After watching me remove the crate that we use to cover the hole everyday. Classic lateral ankle sprain. I laughed for a good 10 mins straight about it. EPIC FAIL! (What does that really mean? Why do ppl say that? Why did I just say that?).
2) Cam Jansen got trucked in practice about a week and a half ago. She wasn't paying attention to the play and standing behind one of the coaches. When the play came towards them, the coach stepped outta the way and Cam was run over by one of our WRs. Unfortunately, although we were both at practice neither Ferrari nor I were able to witness this glorious event with our own eyes. Maybe next time.
Moral of the story: It ain't easy being a certified superhero so u better keep ur head on a swivel. (Shoutout to Petey V for teaching me that).
Speaking of Cam Jansen, I think this individual has earned herself a special section in the Dread Thread. She and I go back and forth all of the time and it's usually pretty funny. Here's a little taste. We'll call it:
Cam Jansen's Clicks
Cam: Sorry I missed ur call. My phone was on vibrate.
Me: Don't let it happen again. next time u get excommunicated and we vote u off the island.
Cam: LoL. Ain't no one puttin out my torch. Put that in ur blog and smoke it.
Me: LoL. That was a good one.
Cam: I thought so. I was proud.
---------------------------------------
Cam: Can u see that the whirlpool gets filled today? One of my athletes needs to use it.
Me: Idk Cam. I just get so busy sometimes. I might be doing something more important like counting my dreads. If I get done early I might be able to fit that in.
Cam: Anyone ever tell you ur an ass?
Me: Pretty much on a daily basis. Not so much in words. Mostly just in looks.
Cam: LoL. Thanks for being so obliged to my request.
Me: No problem. My ppl have been doin ur ppl favors for hundreds of years. LoL.
Cam: Oh lordy. Shut ur yap. LoL
---------------------------------------
Me: Any suggestions on where to go out tonight?
Cam: Baxter's is a nice casual sports bar place.
Me: Ok thankx Cam.
Cam: Last time I was in Baxter's I got in a fight. LoL. U better do me proud.
Me: No problem. I need something to spice up the blog anyway.
Cam: I have like a 90% chance of getting in a scuffle tonight too. This should be interesting.
Me: LoL. Well if u need me just give the bird call and I'll be there in 5.
Cam: Who's gonna let you out of ur night shackles?
Me: LoL. That's a good one. Especially considering I didn't tell u how they had me shackled to the BTE Evaluator in class.
Cam: Hahahahaha. Slavery has expanded to motion analysis.
----------------------------------------
Me: We're on our way downtown. Which place are u closer to?
Cam: I'm at an ODU house party. I'm not bar-ing it.
Me: Oh ok. We thought u were gonna come meet up. Such a disappointment Cam.
Cam: I know. I have friends outside of ODU AT :)
Me: LMAO! Ur hilarious. Well when I make some black friends I'll try to pencil u in.
Cam: Hahahahah.
Updates from Sparta:
1) Ferrari bit it hard at practice by stepping in a hole. A hole that she knew was there. After watching me remove the crate that we use to cover the hole everyday. Classic lateral ankle sprain. I laughed for a good 10 mins straight about it. EPIC FAIL! (What does that really mean? Why do ppl say that? Why did I just say that?).
2) Cam Jansen got trucked in practice about a week and a half ago. She wasn't paying attention to the play and standing behind one of the coaches. When the play came towards them, the coach stepped outta the way and Cam was run over by one of our WRs. Unfortunately, although we were both at practice neither Ferrari nor I were able to witness this glorious event with our own eyes. Maybe next time.
Moral of the story: It ain't easy being a certified superhero so u better keep ur head on a swivel. (Shoutout to Petey V for teaching me that).
Speaking of Cam Jansen, I think this individual has earned herself a special section in the Dread Thread. She and I go back and forth all of the time and it's usually pretty funny. Here's a little taste. We'll call it:
Cam Jansen's Clicks
Cam: Sorry I missed ur call. My phone was on vibrate.
Me: Don't let it happen again. next time u get excommunicated and we vote u off the island.
Cam: LoL. Ain't no one puttin out my torch. Put that in ur blog and smoke it.
Me: LoL. That was a good one.
Cam: I thought so. I was proud.
---------------------------------------
Cam: Can u see that the whirlpool gets filled today? One of my athletes needs to use it.
Me: Idk Cam. I just get so busy sometimes. I might be doing something more important like counting my dreads. If I get done early I might be able to fit that in.
Cam: Anyone ever tell you ur an ass?
Me: Pretty much on a daily basis. Not so much in words. Mostly just in looks.
Cam: LoL. Thanks for being so obliged to my request.
Me: No problem. My ppl have been doin ur ppl favors for hundreds of years. LoL.
Cam: Oh lordy. Shut ur yap. LoL
---------------------------------------
Me: Any suggestions on where to go out tonight?
Cam: Baxter's is a nice casual sports bar place.
Me: Ok thankx Cam.
Cam: Last time I was in Baxter's I got in a fight. LoL. U better do me proud.
Me: No problem. I need something to spice up the blog anyway.
Cam: I have like a 90% chance of getting in a scuffle tonight too. This should be interesting.
Me: LoL. Well if u need me just give the bird call and I'll be there in 5.
Cam: Who's gonna let you out of ur night shackles?
Me: LoL. That's a good one. Especially considering I didn't tell u how they had me shackled to the BTE Evaluator in class.
Cam: Hahahahaha. Slavery has expanded to motion analysis.
----------------------------------------
Me: We're on our way downtown. Which place are u closer to?
Cam: I'm at an ODU house party. I'm not bar-ing it.
Me: Oh ok. We thought u were gonna come meet up. Such a disappointment Cam.
Cam: I know. I have friends outside of ODU AT :)
Me: LMAO! Ur hilarious. Well when I make some black friends I'll try to pencil u in.
Cam: Hahahahah.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
VMAs
Sooo apparently, with all of the malarkey that happened at MTV's VMAs, it was assumed that I would have a new post in response. Sorry peeps. I'm a little late but I do have an opinion. I'm Arbor Misting it up right now so here comes the list:
1) First off, the MJ tribute was good. The Madonna intro was nice but a little weird. I feel like what she said was genuine but at the same time, I got the feeling that she didn't know him that well. They prolly coulda found someone else to do it. Diana Ross maybe? The dancing was straight but there were some major missing key components. No moonwalk, no Thriller moves. Those are kinda staples in an MJ performance. Janet's performance was the best of the night simply because she showed up. That musta been really hard for her. And she killed it. The side by side dancing with the video was a great idea. I only wish they had made more songs together.
2) Ok. So, Kanye West has officially lost his mind. If it's necessary for me to tell u what happened, then u must live under a rock. Imma need u to have some other news outlet for current events other than my blog. Now anytime a black person does something stupid they will not be referred to as a *n word* but a "Kanye." Seriously, that had nothing to do with him and how dare he take that little girl's moment. U done set black ppl back 200 years. Back to slavery. Where's my shackles? Yes'm massa. I's a good slave! Imma gonna pick this cotton for u reals good massa! *Speaking of slavery, I'm getting paid tomorrow! Been working for free the past month and a half.* Anyway, back to Kanye. I heard dude was drinkin a bottle of Hennessey on the red carpet. And do u think it dawned on him what effect his actions would have on his relationship with Jay-Z? I mean, Beyonce is his wife. Plus he represents a brand. Puts Roc-A-Fella in a real bad look. Heard he got kicked out of the award show for that. Good for u MTV. I would say good look but u did put the idiot in the front row ...
3) Speaking of Jay-Z, thought his performance was a lil overhyped. It was good but not great. Alicia Keys makes that song. Without her it's not a single. It's not a jam. It's prolly put on the end of the album where u can skip over it to get to the good songs. She makes the song. But back to the performance. It was decent. And somewhat normal. That is until LiL Mama made an appearance. This loser decided to jump up onstage at the end of the performance, UNINVITED, and join Jay and Alicia Keys. Jay sees her and even tries to get her to fall back by patting her leg. He even tells her that she's T-Paining. She looks him dead in the face and stays there. Then has the audacity to pose at the end of the song. Triflin heffa! I guess she thought she was entitle to make an appearance simply because she's from the Bronx. **Breaking News: NOBODY CARES WHERE YOU'RE FROM LIL MAMA!**
4) As far as the rest of the show: Beyonce's performance was okay. She's done better. Basically just copied the video and added like 5 million back up dancers. Pink's performance was hot! Singing while flipping thru the air? Ok, lip syncing while flipping thru the air? That's not something u can just go over during rehearsal. That takes some time. Tight work. Green Day? Typical Green Day performance. It was good. I like them. That's right, I like a rock band.
5) Of course I gotta talk about Lady Gaga. I'll admit I'm not a huge fan. When her performance came on I was only half paying attn. I was watching and I saw her in a white wedding dress which immediately made me thing of Madonna so I looked away. I look back and all of a sudden she's covered in blood. Wtf? Did I miss something? Where did the blood come from? And I gotta address the outfits. Or should I say costumes? Everything she had on was ridiculous. The red outfit she had on was crazy. She had to take the mask off just so she could see the mic for her acceptance speech. Reminded me of a used feminine product. Then she replaced it with a white bird's nest around her face. That being said, me and everyone else are sitting here talking about it so mission accomplished. The way I see it: Dare to be different. But be daring when u do it differently.
6) Russell Brand sucks as a host. Idk why they invited him back. I don't get his humor. He's corny. That's it. He doesn't get a paragraph.
So there's my VMA review. Happy now?
Totally unrelated topic. Had a convo with Heathcliff today. It went a little something like this:
Me: Hey, Dad. I got ur voicemail.
Heathcliff: Yeah I was just calling. I was thinking bout u and ur brother.
Me: Aww. Dad u miss us.
Heathcliff: Of course I do. Ur my kids. But then I laugh and have a great day.
Uhhh ... Thanks dad.
1) First off, the MJ tribute was good. The Madonna intro was nice but a little weird. I feel like what she said was genuine but at the same time, I got the feeling that she didn't know him that well. They prolly coulda found someone else to do it. Diana Ross maybe? The dancing was straight but there were some major missing key components. No moonwalk, no Thriller moves. Those are kinda staples in an MJ performance. Janet's performance was the best of the night simply because she showed up. That musta been really hard for her. And she killed it. The side by side dancing with the video was a great idea. I only wish they had made more songs together.
2) Ok. So, Kanye West has officially lost his mind. If it's necessary for me to tell u what happened, then u must live under a rock. Imma need u to have some other news outlet for current events other than my blog. Now anytime a black person does something stupid they will not be referred to as a *n word* but a "Kanye." Seriously, that had nothing to do with him and how dare he take that little girl's moment. U done set black ppl back 200 years. Back to slavery. Where's my shackles? Yes'm massa. I's a good slave! Imma gonna pick this cotton for u reals good massa! *Speaking of slavery, I'm getting paid tomorrow! Been working for free the past month and a half.* Anyway, back to Kanye. I heard dude was drinkin a bottle of Hennessey on the red carpet. And do u think it dawned on him what effect his actions would have on his relationship with Jay-Z? I mean, Beyonce is his wife. Plus he represents a brand. Puts Roc-A-Fella in a real bad look. Heard he got kicked out of the award show for that. Good for u MTV. I would say good look but u did put the idiot in the front row ...
3) Speaking of Jay-Z, thought his performance was a lil overhyped. It was good but not great. Alicia Keys makes that song. Without her it's not a single. It's not a jam. It's prolly put on the end of the album where u can skip over it to get to the good songs. She makes the song. But back to the performance. It was decent. And somewhat normal. That is until LiL Mama made an appearance. This loser decided to jump up onstage at the end of the performance, UNINVITED, and join Jay and Alicia Keys. Jay sees her and even tries to get her to fall back by patting her leg. He even tells her that she's T-Paining. She looks him dead in the face and stays there. Then has the audacity to pose at the end of the song. Triflin heffa! I guess she thought she was entitle to make an appearance simply because she's from the Bronx. **Breaking News: NOBODY CARES WHERE YOU'RE FROM LIL MAMA!**
4) As far as the rest of the show: Beyonce's performance was okay. She's done better. Basically just copied the video and added like 5 million back up dancers. Pink's performance was hot! Singing while flipping thru the air? Ok, lip syncing while flipping thru the air? That's not something u can just go over during rehearsal. That takes some time. Tight work. Green Day? Typical Green Day performance. It was good. I like them. That's right, I like a rock band.
5) Of course I gotta talk about Lady Gaga. I'll admit I'm not a huge fan. When her performance came on I was only half paying attn. I was watching and I saw her in a white wedding dress which immediately made me thing of Madonna so I looked away. I look back and all of a sudden she's covered in blood. Wtf? Did I miss something? Where did the blood come from? And I gotta address the outfits. Or should I say costumes? Everything she had on was ridiculous. The red outfit she had on was crazy. She had to take the mask off just so she could see the mic for her acceptance speech. Reminded me of a used feminine product. Then she replaced it with a white bird's nest around her face. That being said, me and everyone else are sitting here talking about it so mission accomplished. The way I see it: Dare to be different. But be daring when u do it differently.
6) Russell Brand sucks as a host. Idk why they invited him back. I don't get his humor. He's corny. That's it. He doesn't get a paragraph.
So there's my VMA review. Happy now?
Totally unrelated topic. Had a convo with Heathcliff today. It went a little something like this:
Me: Hey, Dad. I got ur voicemail.
Heathcliff: Yeah I was just calling. I was thinking bout u and ur brother.
Me: Aww. Dad u miss us.
Heathcliff: Of course I do. Ur my kids. But then I laugh and have a great day.
Uhhh ... Thanks dad.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Grad School = Blog Tardiness
I'm sorry. It's been a while. A week and a half to be exact. Started Grad school about a week ago so I'm tryna adjust to the class load and working. I feel like a lot has happened and I'm prolly forgetting a lot of things. But that's life. Oh well. Get over it cuz I am.
- So I went out to one of those Mom and Pop restaurants with a few of my fellow certified superheroes. University Pizza on Colley and 51st, to be exact. We had a large sausage and bell peppers pizza. It was decent. Cool spot. Anywho, we were chillin outside on the patio. Kickin back a few brewskis. LoL. J/k. U guys know I don't do beer. Sorry, there I go again rambling. Wait, I don't have to apologize, it's my blog. Deal with it. We were sitting there chillin and sitting on the corner next to the street. An FYI for all of u who don't know, a lot of the streets in Norfolk are narrow. Well there's not much parking near this place so a lot of people park on the side of the street. In this case there were cars on both sides of the street. Well, one patron of said pizzeria either had too much to drink or he really sux at driving. On his way out, he totally sideswiped a red Tahoe before entering the intersection. Sounded like a car door slamming. Everyone at our table looked over at hime. He yelled out an expletive, made eye contact with practically everyone at the table, and then sped off down the road. Wtf? No note or nothing. Just sped off like it never happened. Well not only did we all see him do it, but Seamus (SHAY-mus) He totally requested that as his blog code name. recognized him. And then, not 30 seconds later the po po just happened to come driving down the street. Well Seamus sprung into action, he is after all a certified superhero. He jumped the fence and flagged the cop down. He told him what happened (I bet u won't call him a snitch tho!) and the cop pulled a Uey and raced off into the night. U like what I did there? Idk if the cop ever found the dude but it makes for an interesting story. As does much of my life.
- Went to McDonald's for a quick lunch today. I gotta lay off the fast foods. Not for the obvious reasons such as weight gain and unhealthy junk food tho. The most random things keep happening to me there i.e., the Popeye's Fiasco. So it actually seemed like it was gonna be a normal trip. Went inside, got my food, was walking to my car, optimistic about lunch when a desheveled That's right, desheveled, have you ever worked that into a conversation? looking woman caught my eye. She was talking to a guy sitting in a parked car and started walking my way. Tried not to make eye contact but ya'll know I attract crazies. The following strange, yet short convo ensued:
Lady: Hi! Ur dreads look pretty.
Me (thinking): Here we go. She obviously wants something.
Me: Thanks. (Tryna keep it moving.)
Lady (With a drunken slur): Can you help me out? I'm pregnant and I'm tryna buy an Angus burger. I got $2.
Me: Nah, I don't have any cash. Sorry.
Couple of things. This lady was definitely overweight but doubtful that she was pregnant. Hopefully not because she was reallllllly drunk. At 12:45pm on a Tuesday. Secondly, how u gonna ask me to help u buy an Angus burger and then tell me that u have $2? First off, if ur begging, don't try to be bougie! An Angus burger is clearly not the cheapest thing on Mickey D's menu! U better work that Dollar Menu! Shoot, u can get a hamburger and a small fry for less than $2! And yes I know from personal experience! As a college student, I have worked that Dollar Menu many a time. And a hamburger is only $0.89! U could get 2 hamburgers and have change left over for a peppermint. U want a full meal? Get a Hamburger, small fry, and a water cup! Still less than $2! Moral of the story? Don't be a bougie bum or u will be a hungry bum. And don't lie to ppl about being pregnant when ur really just a fat drunk.
That's all folks. I'll try not to make u wait as long next time.
- So I went out to one of those Mom and Pop restaurants with a few of my fellow certified superheroes. University Pizza on Colley and 51st, to be exact. We had a large sausage and bell peppers pizza. It was decent. Cool spot. Anywho, we were chillin outside on the patio. Kickin back a few brewskis. LoL. J/k. U guys know I don't do beer. Sorry, there I go again rambling. Wait, I don't have to apologize, it's my blog. Deal with it. We were sitting there chillin and sitting on the corner next to the street. An FYI for all of u who don't know, a lot of the streets in Norfolk are narrow. Well there's not much parking near this place so a lot of people park on the side of the street. In this case there were cars on both sides of the street. Well, one patron of said pizzeria either had too much to drink or he really sux at driving. On his way out, he totally sideswiped a red Tahoe before entering the intersection. Sounded like a car door slamming. Everyone at our table looked over at hime. He yelled out an expletive, made eye contact with practically everyone at the table, and then sped off down the road. Wtf? No note or nothing. Just sped off like it never happened. Well not only did we all see him do it, but Seamus (SHAY-mus) He totally requested that as his blog code name. recognized him. And then, not 30 seconds later the po po just happened to come driving down the street. Well Seamus sprung into action, he is after all a certified superhero. He jumped the fence and flagged the cop down. He told him what happened (I bet u won't call him a snitch tho!) and the cop pulled a Uey and raced off into the night. U like what I did there? Idk if the cop ever found the dude but it makes for an interesting story. As does much of my life.
- Went to McDonald's for a quick lunch today. I gotta lay off the fast foods. Not for the obvious reasons such as weight gain and unhealthy junk food tho. The most random things keep happening to me there i.e., the Popeye's Fiasco. So it actually seemed like it was gonna be a normal trip. Went inside, got my food, was walking to my car, optimistic about lunch when a desheveled That's right, desheveled, have you ever worked that into a conversation? looking woman caught my eye. She was talking to a guy sitting in a parked car and started walking my way. Tried not to make eye contact but ya'll know I attract crazies. The following strange, yet short convo ensued:
Lady: Hi! Ur dreads look pretty.
Me (thinking): Here we go. She obviously wants something.
Me: Thanks. (Tryna keep it moving.)
Lady (With a drunken slur): Can you help me out? I'm pregnant and I'm tryna buy an Angus burger. I got $2.
Me: Nah, I don't have any cash. Sorry.
Couple of things. This lady was definitely overweight but doubtful that she was pregnant. Hopefully not because she was reallllllly drunk. At 12:45pm on a Tuesday. Secondly, how u gonna ask me to help u buy an Angus burger and then tell me that u have $2? First off, if ur begging, don't try to be bougie! An Angus burger is clearly not the cheapest thing on Mickey D's menu! U better work that Dollar Menu! Shoot, u can get a hamburger and a small fry for less than $2! And yes I know from personal experience! As a college student, I have worked that Dollar Menu many a time. And a hamburger is only $0.89! U could get 2 hamburgers and have change left over for a peppermint. U want a full meal? Get a Hamburger, small fry, and a water cup! Still less than $2! Moral of the story? Don't be a bougie bum or u will be a hungry bum. And don't lie to ppl about being pregnant when ur really just a fat drunk.
That's all folks. I'll try not to make u wait as long next time.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Dread Update
First off, watching Coming to America on Bravo. LoL. Love this movie. I prolly shouldn't start of a post with a random thought but I just did. Wanna fight about it?
Anywho, went to a new salon on Wednesday. Was in Chesapeake so like 20-25 minutes with a lil morning traffic. I liked the environment. A lot friendlier than the last place. Got there, and my stylist was ready for me. She washed my hair for me and I would have to give her an A++ for the scalp massage she gave me. Oh-Em-Gee as Curry Chicken would say. Dude. It was something serious. And the shampoo made my scalp all tingly! If it wasn't for the ridiculous price she charged me, I prolly woulda given her a tip. But more on that later.
So anyway, the main thing that was different about this place was that they interlock/latch there. Meaning, that instead of getting a retwist, I got my hair interlocked. Its kinda hard to explain but basically she uses a crochet tool to make knots in my hair. To be completely honest, I'm a little nervous about how that is gonna affect my hair in the long run. The dreads' Godmomma, AKA the stylist who started my locs and has been hooking me up for the past 2 1/2 years, was not pleased. She says the interlocking will eventually make my dreads weaken and fall off. At the same time, a bunch of the stylists there had long locs that looked fine. So we'll see what happens. Not the best at planning for the future. Tend to think of the here and now. I'm not too worried about it. Lmao. Prolly should be tho. That's ok. My hair is strong. J. Pumpkinseed, CERTIFIED SUPERHERO. LoL. Anyway, the stylist was cool and I like how my hair looked afterwards. Definitely looked like the $85 she charged me. That's right! $85. She says that from here on out it'll only be $65 but still, I wish I could get all of that for $35-$45. It's a recession. Oh and another thing, my head was tight! Interlocking is not the most comfortable experience but it's supposed to last longer. Felt like I just got my hair braided. But I'll count this as a win. Black Butterflies in Chesapeake gets a thumbs up. Be prepared to put up some serious cash tho.
Randoms:
1) Went to Burger King on the way to work to grab a quick lunch. Waited in the drive thru line for but 15 mins. I was sooo hungry and could already taste the french fries. Ordered a Whopper Jr. meal only to find out that they were completely out of french fries. Had not one french fry in the entire store. How does that happen!!! The manager should be fired. So I had to get onion rings. I don't make this stuff up, man ...
2) My roomie, Sapphire, has had her car broken into twice in the last week. Once in our driveway, and again on campus. U know what that means right? It's only a matter of time before I get got. I'm gon be soooo pissed when that happens and expect there to be a blog about it.
3) We don't have the standard mailbox in my neighborhood. Our mailboxes are attached to the house, not out by the street. **I wish I had some cookies right now. Ooh. Or maybe a swiss cake roll. Yeah that would hit the spot right now. Lmao. Sorry.** There's no little flag to designate outgoing mail. So the mail carrier actually has to walk up to each house to check the mailboxes for mail. Well we noticed that our mail carrier hasn't been doing that and sometimes our outgoing mail would sit outside for maybe 2-3 days before being picked up. So Sapphire had to go to the post office to pick up a package and told one of the postal workers about the situation. Ur not gonna believe this. She was told that it is not their responsibility/duty to check our mailbox everyday for outgoing mail. They generally only do it when they have to deliver mail. What? I'm sorry but whatever happened to "Neither sleet, nor snow"? They'll deliver in sleet and snow but can't walk up to my house to check and see if I have mail? Isn't that your job? What is the world coming to? Postal workers won't even check my mailbox now. Ridiculous ...
That's it for now, but u know I'll prolly have something new for u in a couple days. Stay classy San Diego.
Anywho, went to a new salon on Wednesday. Was in Chesapeake so like 20-25 minutes with a lil morning traffic. I liked the environment. A lot friendlier than the last place. Got there, and my stylist was ready for me. She washed my hair for me and I would have to give her an A++ for the scalp massage she gave me. Oh-Em-Gee as Curry Chicken would say. Dude. It was something serious. And the shampoo made my scalp all tingly! If it wasn't for the ridiculous price she charged me, I prolly woulda given her a tip. But more on that later.
So anyway, the main thing that was different about this place was that they interlock/latch there. Meaning, that instead of getting a retwist, I got my hair interlocked. Its kinda hard to explain but basically she uses a crochet tool to make knots in my hair. To be completely honest, I'm a little nervous about how that is gonna affect my hair in the long run. The dreads' Godmomma, AKA the stylist who started my locs and has been hooking me up for the past 2 1/2 years, was not pleased. She says the interlocking will eventually make my dreads weaken and fall off. At the same time, a bunch of the stylists there had long locs that looked fine. So we'll see what happens. Not the best at planning for the future. Tend to think of the here and now. I'm not too worried about it. Lmao. Prolly should be tho. That's ok. My hair is strong. J. Pumpkinseed, CERTIFIED SUPERHERO. LoL. Anyway, the stylist was cool and I like how my hair looked afterwards. Definitely looked like the $85 she charged me. That's right! $85. She says that from here on out it'll only be $65 but still, I wish I could get all of that for $35-$45. It's a recession. Oh and another thing, my head was tight! Interlocking is not the most comfortable experience but it's supposed to last longer. Felt like I just got my hair braided. But I'll count this as a win. Black Butterflies in Chesapeake gets a thumbs up. Be prepared to put up some serious cash tho.
Randoms:
1) Went to Burger King on the way to work to grab a quick lunch. Waited in the drive thru line for but 15 mins. I was sooo hungry and could already taste the french fries. Ordered a Whopper Jr. meal only to find out that they were completely out of french fries. Had not one french fry in the entire store. How does that happen!!! The manager should be fired. So I had to get onion rings. I don't make this stuff up, man ...
2) My roomie, Sapphire, has had her car broken into twice in the last week. Once in our driveway, and again on campus. U know what that means right? It's only a matter of time before I get got. I'm gon be soooo pissed when that happens and expect there to be a blog about it.
3) We don't have the standard mailbox in my neighborhood. Our mailboxes are attached to the house, not out by the street. **I wish I had some cookies right now. Ooh. Or maybe a swiss cake roll. Yeah that would hit the spot right now. Lmao. Sorry.** There's no little flag to designate outgoing mail. So the mail carrier actually has to walk up to each house to check the mailboxes for mail. Well we noticed that our mail carrier hasn't been doing that and sometimes our outgoing mail would sit outside for maybe 2-3 days before being picked up. So Sapphire had to go to the post office to pick up a package and told one of the postal workers about the situation. Ur not gonna believe this. She was told that it is not their responsibility/duty to check our mailbox everyday for outgoing mail. They generally only do it when they have to deliver mail. What? I'm sorry but whatever happened to "Neither sleet, nor snow"? They'll deliver in sleet and snow but can't walk up to my house to check and see if I have mail? Isn't that your job? What is the world coming to? Postal workers won't even check my mailbox now. Ridiculous ...
That's it for now, but u know I'll prolly have something new for u in a couple days. Stay classy San Diego.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Omarion & Bow Wow
So the semi-big, semi-irrelevent news in the hip hop world right now is about Bow Wow signing to Weezy's Cash Money Records. Semi-big because Bow Wow and Cash Money prolly should never be mentioned in the same sentence. Why did Bow Wow pick Cash Money? Well, he's prolly tryna change his image. Bow's been tryna grow up and get his G card for a couple years now. Good move for him? Maybe. The real question is: Why in the hell would Cash Money sign Bow Wow? Ummm ... Drawing a blank. Idk what Weezy's thinking on this one. No doubt he was high at the time. I mean last "hit song" (and I use the term loosely) he had was "Marco Polo" with Soulja Boy. One of the stupidest, lamest songs to come out in the past few years. A song about a game we all used to play when we were little kids at the pool? What's next, Freeze Tag?
Plus he wasted everybody's time by collaborating with Omarion on that extra lame Face Off album. Speaking of which, what a great segueway into the next portion of this post.
So, not only did we find out that Bow Wow is signed to Cash Money, but we also found out that Omarion is leavin Cash Money. Hmmm. That's interesting considering nobody knew O was signed to Cash Money in the first place. Prolly cuz he wasn't a good fit. He hasn't put anything out since the aformentioned horrible collabo with Bow. After which he was dropped from his label and sometime after that joined Weezy's crew. Was it supposed to be a secret? I mean I had no idea that Omarion was in Cash Money. Weezy shouts out everybody in his songs. Drake, Jae Millz, Kidd Kidd, Lil Chuckie (a 12 year old). Not once have I heard Omarion get a shoutout. And Weezy has put out hundreds of songs in the past 2 years. That right there should tell u how lame he is. Plus his stage name is stupid. Omari + ion = Omari forever. Are u serious? That is still stupid. Incredibly stupid.
However, whether or not anybody knew Omarion was on Cash Money, the fact of the matter is that he was. Is it a coincidence that he "decided to leave" the label the same week Bow Wow was signed? Sure, if ur a dummy. Supposedly, ever since their failed collabo came out, there's been bad blood between the two. Plus I think Bow made fun of O in a song and it was supposed to be a joke but of course O took it personally. So it wouldn't make sense for the two to be on the same label. Then again it doesn't really make sense for either one of them to be on the label. What's next Weezy? Chris Brown? Nah, better yet, Justin Timberlake? I'm just sayin. Protect ur brand dude ...
Plus he wasted everybody's time by collaborating with Omarion on that extra lame Face Off album. Speaking of which, what a great segueway into the next portion of this post.
So, not only did we find out that Bow Wow is signed to Cash Money, but we also found out that Omarion is leavin Cash Money. Hmmm. That's interesting considering nobody knew O was signed to Cash Money in the first place. Prolly cuz he wasn't a good fit. He hasn't put anything out since the aformentioned horrible collabo with Bow. After which he was dropped from his label and sometime after that joined Weezy's crew. Was it supposed to be a secret? I mean I had no idea that Omarion was in Cash Money. Weezy shouts out everybody in his songs. Drake, Jae Millz, Kidd Kidd, Lil Chuckie (a 12 year old). Not once have I heard Omarion get a shoutout. And Weezy has put out hundreds of songs in the past 2 years. That right there should tell u how lame he is. Plus his stage name is stupid. Omari + ion = Omari forever. Are u serious? That is still stupid. Incredibly stupid.
However, whether or not anybody knew Omarion was on Cash Money, the fact of the matter is that he was. Is it a coincidence that he "decided to leave" the label the same week Bow Wow was signed? Sure, if ur a dummy. Supposedly, ever since their failed collabo came out, there's been bad blood between the two. Plus I think Bow made fun of O in a song and it was supposed to be a joke but of course O took it personally. So it wouldn't make sense for the two to be on the same label. Then again it doesn't really make sense for either one of them to be on the label. What's next Weezy? Chris Brown? Nah, better yet, Justin Timberlake? I'm just sayin. Protect ur brand dude ...
What a week ...
Sooooo it's been a minute ....
Sorry.
It's been a crazy week. Work has been long and hard. But ya girl, J. Pumpkinseed loves being a Certified Superhero. Lot of random stuff has happened this week. But then again by now you should know that random things happen to me on the regular. So does that really make them random? Shouldn't that be considered the usual? Idk. Anyways, here comes the list. U know how it goes:
1) Took my first ride in an ambulance a few days ago. Not as exciting as you'd think. Don't worry, I was riding shotty not layin in the back. But yeah not too exciting. Dude didn't even turn the siren on. I shoulda asked him to. Prolly woulda just looked at me like I was crazy. LoL. Next time I'm askin tho. I don't care.
2) Overheard at football practice:
Player 1 (while drinking water): Man this water is good. I been drinkin so much I gotta piss.
Player 2: Yeah. Its nice and cold. Go piss in the port-a-potty.
P1: Nah, I'll just do what I did the other day.
P2: What's that?
P1: I'll piss on myself.
P2: What?!
P1: We were in the middle of inside drills and I had to piss so I just peed on myself.
P2: Dude that's disgusting. You know u prolly got piss all over everybody when u tackled them, right?
P1: Nah man. I sprayed water on myself after I went.
P2: That's still disgusting dude.
[Disturbing right. What's really disturbing is that while there is a huge chance that dude was joking, he is also the type of individual who could be keeping it 100. Said it with such a straight face that I honestly have no idea.]
3) Shoutout to Antigua for suggesting this bomb Caribbean joint. A bunch of us went to this place called MP International Grocery & Restaurant. Food was on point. I had some oxtail with rice and peas. And it couldn't be an authentic Caribbean joint without my Kola Champagne! Prices was good. Service was good. And u know it's real when they got the grocery store and restaurant together. Felt like I was in MIA. Food was almost as good as my Claire's food. I stress the almost part. Ain't nothin better than mom's. Bottom line: I will be going there again. And again. And again.
4) Got a flat tire yesterday. Down the street from my house. In the rain. No biggie tho because Cliff taught me how to change a flat (See? I do listen). However, he didn't tell me what a lugnut key is so I was struggling with the last lugnut for a while. In the rain. Luckily, I finally caved in and called Cliff to figure out what was goin on. LoL. Please tell me I'm not the only one walkin around who had never seen a lugnut key before. Learn something new everyday. Sometimes in the rain.
5) Found out that I like Arbor Mist. A lot.
6) Saw Pamela, the Granby Street Hula Hoop Lady. That's right, she's still hula hoopin. It was hot outside too. I might have to stop and buy her a Gatorade next time. Don't want her getting dehydrated.
7) In other update news, I went back to Popeyes. Usually I go inside so I can check my food cuz they always mess it up. But this time I decided to go thru the drive thru cuz it was dark and its in a sketchy neighborhood. I put in my usual order and pull up to the window. Who do I see? Only the cashier that was working the night of the Popeyes Fiasco! I thought for sure that her and LaShonda were fired cuz I hadn't seen them in a minute. I asked her if they had had anymore fires recently and she tells me no. Then she looks up and realizes who I am. Next thing I know, she's calling Shonda over to the window and we're all laughin it up. So after all this, you'd think that I was gettin my meal for free. Erroneous. If I'd gone inside it woulda been one thing. However, since I went thru the drive thru and it was already in the system, no free food for me. Of course.
8) I'm trying out a new hair salon. Yes, I realize that its only been a week and a half since the last horrible retwist. Don't remind it. But it doesn't matter because it looks like its been a month and a half. This place is a little pricey but Antigua recommended it and she came thru on the Caribbean food so things are looking good. Stay tuned ...
So that's what's been up. I'm prolly forgetting a bunch of stuff but that's all I feel like typing. Grad school starts in a week. Between now and then I guarantee u a million different things will happen that are blog worthy. And if I told u once, I told u a thousand times, I do not make this stuff up!
Sorry.
It's been a crazy week. Work has been long and hard. But ya girl, J. Pumpkinseed loves being a Certified Superhero. Lot of random stuff has happened this week. But then again by now you should know that random things happen to me on the regular. So does that really make them random? Shouldn't that be considered the usual? Idk. Anyways, here comes the list. U know how it goes:
1) Took my first ride in an ambulance a few days ago. Not as exciting as you'd think. Don't worry, I was riding shotty not layin in the back. But yeah not too exciting. Dude didn't even turn the siren on. I shoulda asked him to. Prolly woulda just looked at me like I was crazy. LoL. Next time I'm askin tho. I don't care.
2) Overheard at football practice:
Player 1 (while drinking water): Man this water is good. I been drinkin so much I gotta piss.
Player 2: Yeah. Its nice and cold. Go piss in the port-a-potty.
P1: Nah, I'll just do what I did the other day.
P2: What's that?
P1: I'll piss on myself.
P2: What?!
P1: We were in the middle of inside drills and I had to piss so I just peed on myself.
P2: Dude that's disgusting. You know u prolly got piss all over everybody when u tackled them, right?
P1: Nah man. I sprayed water on myself after I went.
P2: That's still disgusting dude.
[Disturbing right. What's really disturbing is that while there is a huge chance that dude was joking, he is also the type of individual who could be keeping it 100. Said it with such a straight face that I honestly have no idea.]
3) Shoutout to Antigua for suggesting this bomb Caribbean joint. A bunch of us went to this place called MP International Grocery & Restaurant. Food was on point. I had some oxtail with rice and peas. And it couldn't be an authentic Caribbean joint without my Kola Champagne! Prices was good. Service was good. And u know it's real when they got the grocery store and restaurant together. Felt like I was in MIA. Food was almost as good as my Claire's food. I stress the almost part. Ain't nothin better than mom's. Bottom line: I will be going there again. And again. And again.
4) Got a flat tire yesterday. Down the street from my house. In the rain. No biggie tho because Cliff taught me how to change a flat (See? I do listen). However, he didn't tell me what a lugnut key is so I was struggling with the last lugnut for a while. In the rain. Luckily, I finally caved in and called Cliff to figure out what was goin on. LoL. Please tell me I'm not the only one walkin around who had never seen a lugnut key before. Learn something new everyday. Sometimes in the rain.
5) Found out that I like Arbor Mist. A lot.
6) Saw Pamela, the Granby Street Hula Hoop Lady. That's right, she's still hula hoopin. It was hot outside too. I might have to stop and buy her a Gatorade next time. Don't want her getting dehydrated.
7) In other update news, I went back to Popeyes. Usually I go inside so I can check my food cuz they always mess it up. But this time I decided to go thru the drive thru cuz it was dark and its in a sketchy neighborhood. I put in my usual order and pull up to the window. Who do I see? Only the cashier that was working the night of the Popeyes Fiasco! I thought for sure that her and LaShonda were fired cuz I hadn't seen them in a minute. I asked her if they had had anymore fires recently and she tells me no. Then she looks up and realizes who I am. Next thing I know, she's calling Shonda over to the window and we're all laughin it up. So after all this, you'd think that I was gettin my meal for free. Erroneous. If I'd gone inside it woulda been one thing. However, since I went thru the drive thru and it was already in the system, no free food for me. Of course.
8) I'm trying out a new hair salon. Yes, I realize that its only been a week and a half since the last horrible retwist. Don't remind it. But it doesn't matter because it looks like its been a month and a half. This place is a little pricey but Antigua recommended it and she came thru on the Caribbean food so things are looking good. Stay tuned ...
So that's what's been up. I'm prolly forgetting a bunch of stuff but that's all I feel like typing. Grad school starts in a week. Between now and then I guarantee u a million different things will happen that are blog worthy. And if I told u once, I told u a thousand times, I do not make this stuff up!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Just Pure Craziness
1) Soo ... I live in Norfolk. I work at a local university. (Not saying where cuz idk who reads my blog and ppl are crazy). Anywho, I tried to go home from work yesterday and couldn't make it more than a mile from campus. Why, you may ask? Because it rained for about 5 hours straight. Not only did I get soaked at football practice and have no clothes to change into, I couldn't go home and change. The drainage system around here needs some serious improvement. If it wasn't for my homie K Pheezy I woulda had to sleep in the training room. I had to leave poor Sepia (my car) on campus and ride with him. Couldn't let my baby drown in the water. Think i'm exaggerating? I keep tellin u I don't make this stuff up. Check out the video: http://hamptonroads.tv/hrtv.php?id=5584681
2) Random thought: Why aren't Braille letters in the shape of regular letters? Why was it necessary to come up with a whole new set of dots for letters? That Braille dude was a hustla ...
3) Was I the only kid who read those Cam Jansen mystery books in elementary school? She was a kid detective who used her photgraphic memory to solve crimes. Great books. I was a nerd growing up. Anyway, she reminds me of a co-worker who uses her photographic memory to find my keys when I lose them. Lmao. Inside joke.
Lamest Commercial ... Ever
By far the lamest commercial I ever seen. Idk what else to say. What the hell were they thinking? Every time it comes on I feel like picking my TV up and smashing it on the ground. Who is the guy at Nike that gives this stuff the thumbs up? Cuz he needs to be fired. We're in a recession. Only the strong survive.
Fresh Retwist ... Or Not ...
So the name of this blog is The Dread Thread so I should prolly talk about my hair every now and then, right? Right. So here's the current info on the dreads. About shoulder length now. (Longer than the dreads of a certain superhero). Anyway, since I moved I have to find a new stylist. I could do my own hair if I had to but I don't have the time and it wouldn't come out looking the way I want it. Fresh. I've been trying to look around at other ppl with dreads that look really nice and ask them but I haven't seen any that really impress me. Well I take that back. Anytime I see a lady with nice dreads she tells me that she does them herself. Of course. So I resorted to the yellow pages online and found a place called Masusu Kinks. They had a website. Looked at the pics and was impressed. Sounds good right? Well usually things aren't as good as they seem. The plot thickens...
1) Called in to the salon to make my appt even tho they have an online scheduler. Wierd for a hair salon. Was greeted by a automated operator whom after pressing 1 several times connected me with an actual person. She made my appt and told me I was all set. However, never told me the name of my stylist. Shoulda been my first clue.
2) The address on the website and the actual address were different. They had just moved to a new location. No big deal. I got the new address and put it in the GPS. However, there were no signs that really gave me a clue as to which building it was. I finally called after driving around for 20 mins. Her response: "Well we have a sign out front that says 'All braids $175.'" I finally find the place and see 1 ft cardboard sign sticking out of the grass and hidden behind a bunch of parked cars. Clue #2
3) I walk in and there are 3 stylists and 3 clients. 2 girls gettin their hair braided and a dude sittin under the dryer. So one of the stylists is just chillin. They look at me with a puzzled look and ask if I have an appt. No "Hi, how are you?" No "Good morning." Now I've had an appt for 3 days and have been looking forward to this. The girl who's just chillin begrudgingly gets up from her chair and checks the computer. Then she says, "Ok, that'll be $35." I'm like ok. I already knew the price. Then she says it again, "That'll be $35," and pops the cash register open. I had to pay before she even touched my head! Who does that?!?!
4) When I finally do get my hair washed and she starts to retwist it, it sucks! She is just twistin my dreads with her hand. Like she's twirling her hands in my hair. WTF?! Can I get a palm roll? Can I get a comb coil? Can u ACT like u know what ur doing? And on top of that, she kept flickin my wet dreads in my face and hitting me in the eye! She really tried me ya'll! In the end I was really pissed about my hair. Looks like I did it. Which isn't horrible but if I pay to get my hair done, I want it to look like I paid to get my hair done?
Wasn't a total loss tho. I went to Virginia Beach the next day and got my hair wet but didn't even care. That's how bad it was. Yesterday, at practice, I got completely soaked by some torrential downpour. I thought I was in the middle of a hurricane. If my retwist was good I woulda been heated and not have had as much fun at the beach. So everything worked out. Shouts out to Denisha, my stylist back in Gainesvegas. She made my dreads what they are today. I wish I could teleport u up here to do my hair.
So, I gotta look elsewhere. Which sux. I was hoping that I would find the right spot the 1st time. Life is hard.
1) Called in to the salon to make my appt even tho they have an online scheduler. Wierd for a hair salon. Was greeted by a automated operator whom after pressing 1 several times connected me with an actual person. She made my appt and told me I was all set. However, never told me the name of my stylist. Shoulda been my first clue.
2) The address on the website and the actual address were different. They had just moved to a new location. No big deal. I got the new address and put it in the GPS. However, there were no signs that really gave me a clue as to which building it was. I finally called after driving around for 20 mins. Her response: "Well we have a sign out front that says 'All braids $175.'" I finally find the place and see 1 ft cardboard sign sticking out of the grass and hidden behind a bunch of parked cars. Clue #2
3) I walk in and there are 3 stylists and 3 clients. 2 girls gettin their hair braided and a dude sittin under the dryer. So one of the stylists is just chillin. They look at me with a puzzled look and ask if I have an appt. No "Hi, how are you?" No "Good morning." Now I've had an appt for 3 days and have been looking forward to this. The girl who's just chillin begrudgingly gets up from her chair and checks the computer. Then she says, "Ok, that'll be $35." I'm like ok. I already knew the price. Then she says it again, "That'll be $35," and pops the cash register open. I had to pay before she even touched my head! Who does that?!?!
4) When I finally do get my hair washed and she starts to retwist it, it sucks! She is just twistin my dreads with her hand. Like she's twirling her hands in my hair. WTF?! Can I get a palm roll? Can I get a comb coil? Can u ACT like u know what ur doing? And on top of that, she kept flickin my wet dreads in my face and hitting me in the eye! She really tried me ya'll! In the end I was really pissed about my hair. Looks like I did it. Which isn't horrible but if I pay to get my hair done, I want it to look like I paid to get my hair done?
Wasn't a total loss tho. I went to Virginia Beach the next day and got my hair wet but didn't even care. That's how bad it was. Yesterday, at practice, I got completely soaked by some torrential downpour. I thought I was in the middle of a hurricane. If my retwist was good I woulda been heated and not have had as much fun at the beach. So everything worked out. Shouts out to Denisha, my stylist back in Gainesvegas. She made my dreads what they are today. I wish I could teleport u up here to do my hair.
So, I gotta look elsewhere. Which sux. I was hoping that I would find the right spot the 1st time. Life is hard.
Friday, August 7, 2009
TV Rots Ur Brain
Those of u who know me well know that I watch a lot of really random shows. I'm really into reality TV which I'm actually kinda embarrassed to admit. But it's the truth so whatever. Either way, I watch a lot of random shows that you'd probably never expect me to watch. Good ones and bad ones. Idk why I watch the bad ones. Probably boredom. I do a lot of stupid things out of boredom.
Thumbs up:
Real Housewives of Atlanta: If u have never seen an episode, just watch the Season 2 premiere. The last 5 mins are crazy! People wit money are just as crazy if not crazier than people without money.
Wife Swap: Hilarious. I could watch this show all day. Where do they get these ppl? Since when is it okay to not make ur kids do chores or take showers everyday? Some ppl are just nasty. But so entertaining.
Thumbs down:
Whale Wars: Idk why I watch this show. It just shows like 50 ppl living on tiny boat chasing around like 5 huge Japanese whaling ships in the Antarctic Ocean. They have no weapons. All they do is get close to them and throw stinkbombs on deck. They never really catch them tho. All they do is annoy the hell outta them. Like I said, idk why I watch. It's prolly one of the lamest shows on TV right now. I guess I watch because I keep hoping that one day it'll actually be good. Never happens. **This just in: The Japanese killed a whale on the Sea Sheperds watch. Proof again that this show sux**
Random Shows u never woulda thought that I watch:
Fraiser: Idk why but I actually think its funny
Seinfeld: Again, I actually think it's funny. Prolly seen every episode.
Iron Chef: I like watching ppl cook food fast. I learn nothing from the shows tho.
Deadliest Catch: I love this show! Sooo good. Don't knock it til u watch it.
Ok so since I'm talking about tv shows ... I have to mention Phineas and Ferb. Peter Parker and Curry Chicken love this show. Idk why. I guess I just don't get it. Maybe I'm not nerdy enough. LoL. J/k. I'm joking. But seriously, what is it about this show? Am I just missing out? Tell me please. What is it? If I get good enough explanations, I will start watching the show. Otherwise, I'll continue to think that it's lame.
Thumbs up:
Real Housewives of Atlanta: If u have never seen an episode, just watch the Season 2 premiere. The last 5 mins are crazy! People wit money are just as crazy if not crazier than people without money.
Wife Swap: Hilarious. I could watch this show all day. Where do they get these ppl? Since when is it okay to not make ur kids do chores or take showers everyday? Some ppl are just nasty. But so entertaining.
Thumbs down:
Whale Wars: Idk why I watch this show. It just shows like 50 ppl living on tiny boat chasing around like 5 huge Japanese whaling ships in the Antarctic Ocean. They have no weapons. All they do is get close to them and throw stinkbombs on deck. They never really catch them tho. All they do is annoy the hell outta them. Like I said, idk why I watch. It's prolly one of the lamest shows on TV right now. I guess I watch because I keep hoping that one day it'll actually be good. Never happens. **This just in: The Japanese killed a whale on the Sea Sheperds watch. Proof again that this show sux**
Random Shows u never woulda thought that I watch:
Fraiser: Idk why but I actually think its funny
Seinfeld: Again, I actually think it's funny. Prolly seen every episode.
Iron Chef: I like watching ppl cook food fast. I learn nothing from the shows tho.
Deadliest Catch: I love this show! Sooo good. Don't knock it til u watch it.
Ok so since I'm talking about tv shows ... I have to mention Phineas and Ferb. Peter Parker and Curry Chicken love this show. Idk why. I guess I just don't get it. Maybe I'm not nerdy enough. LoL. J/k. I'm joking. But seriously, what is it about this show? Am I just missing out? Tell me please. What is it? If I get good enough explanations, I will start watching the show. Otherwise, I'll continue to think that it's lame.
Local Celebrity
So a couple things have been brought to my attention:
1) People actually read my blog. LoL. What's that? Oh, how do I know? Well that brings me to point #2
2) I was informed today that the previously mentioned hula hoop lady is actually a local celebrity. Here I was thinking that I just randomly saw this lady gettin down on the median. In actuality she is known in these here parts as The Hula Hoop Lady of Granby Street. She gets down wit the getdown everyday in the same spot. Who woulda thought? I passed a local celebrity and didn't even know it.
a) Hula Hoop Lady of Granby Street got into an altercation with the local police recently when someone complained that her boombox was too loud. They ended up tazing her. So unnecessary. The Po Po stay trippin ... Don't believe me? They got the whole thing on tape. Check out the link: http://www.hooping.org/archives/001909.html. Anywho, now you know a little bit more about the 757. I just put a wrinkle in ur brain. You're welcome.
Oh, shoutout to Steph for telling me about the Hula Hoop Lady. Thanks pimpin. U learn something new everyday.
**THIS JUST IN!!! Steph hooked me up with another video. Here u can actually see Hula Hoop Lady in action: http://www.wvec.com/video/index.html?nvid=354322&shu=1 **
1) People actually read my blog. LoL. What's that? Oh, how do I know? Well that brings me to point #2
2) I was informed today that the previously mentioned hula hoop lady is actually a local celebrity. Here I was thinking that I just randomly saw this lady gettin down on the median. In actuality she is known in these here parts as The Hula Hoop Lady of Granby Street. She gets down wit the getdown everyday in the same spot. Who woulda thought? I passed a local celebrity and didn't even know it.
a) Hula Hoop Lady of Granby Street got into an altercation with the local police recently when someone complained that her boombox was too loud. They ended up tazing her. So unnecessary. The Po Po stay trippin ... Don't believe me? They got the whole thing on tape. Check out the link: http://www.hooping.org/archives/001909.html. Anywho, now you know a little bit more about the 757. I just put a wrinkle in ur brain. You're welcome.
Oh, shoutout to Steph for telling me about the Hula Hoop Lady. Thanks pimpin. U learn something new everyday.
**THIS JUST IN!!! Steph hooked me up with another video. Here u can actually see Hula Hoop Lady in action: http://www.wvec.com/video/index.html?nvid=354322&shu=1 **
Monday, August 3, 2009
Got beef?
Ur girl J. Pumpkinseed, Certified Superhero has been known to get along with pretty much anybody and everybody. Right now tho, I got some major beef ... with the United State Postal Service. That's right. I'm bout to go postal on the mailman tomorrow if he don't have my licensure papers in his hand. And i don't discriminate, if its a mailwoman, I'll go postal on her too. It has been 11 ... count 'em! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 days since my packet was sent from Florida. Shoot, I coulda drove for Norfolk to Gainesville, stopping and spending a night in each state there and back and still made it back before then! You'd think that they was hand delivering my stuff from China! I should build a raft and sail the Atlantic Ocean! My stuff shoulda been got here! Yes, I know that was horrible grammar. Sometimes its just necessary. I needed it here yesterday but I'll give them til tomorrow. If not I'll be goin down to the local post office with a can of gas and a match. Joking. Don't call the cops. Gotta put the disclaimer. Haters are often snitches too and I ain't tryna catch a case. LoL.
I also currently got beef with MTV for givin Diddy all these TV shows. Are ya'll serious? Am I the only person who thinks that he sux as both a label head and a rapper? I can't be. I know I'm not. Name a successful artist on his label other than Day 26 ... It's ok. I'll wait ... Nope, can't say Danity Kane. Don't you dare say Donnie Klang. And if you said Cassie, then you need to reevaluate ur definition of the word success. Have u seen Cassie lately? She look half crazy. Emphasis on the word half. Lmao. Google Cassie hair. 112 left a looong time ago. Loon converted to Islam and is now known as Amir Junaid Muhadith. New Edition left. Shoot even B5 left Bad Boy. He does a horrible job of promoting his groups because at the end of the day it all comes back to Diddy. Now he's talkin bout doin this "concept album" What the hell is that? called The Last Train to Paris. U know this is just gonna be a repeat of his last album Press Play in which he featured someone on every song. Even Diddy know he can't carry a song by himself. So MTV why are u continuing to give this man show after show after show? Let's promote a talented, true mogul. I'd definitely watch a show bout Jay-Z. Sean Carter is an all around mogul. Sean Combs is not. Bottom Line. All that being said, as I write this, I am watching "Making His Band." Lmao. True story. Aye, but I refuse, I say I refuse, to watch this new Superstar show MTV giving him. That's just ludicrous poppycock.
My last beef is with the Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles. I went to get my Virginia driver's license today. I was turned away because I didn't have a passport or birth certificate. They needed to prove that I was a US citizen. What? I had my Florida driver's license, my military ID, my social security card, and proof of address. Wtf? What more proof do I need? U want a blood sample too? And it was the DMV so u know I had to wait half an hour to be turned away. And they had us waiting outside the building too. In the heat. Man, I hate the DMV. Also ludicrous poppycock.
Those are my current beefs or as Peter Griffin would say: what really grinds my gears. The only thing that I really want to happen is for my package to arrive. Tomorrow. I'll get the driver's license eventually. And Diddy will forever be on MTV. Unfortunately.
I also currently got beef with MTV for givin Diddy all these TV shows. Are ya'll serious? Am I the only person who thinks that he sux as both a label head and a rapper? I can't be. I know I'm not. Name a successful artist on his label other than Day 26 ... It's ok. I'll wait ... Nope, can't say Danity Kane. Don't you dare say Donnie Klang. And if you said Cassie, then you need to reevaluate ur definition of the word success. Have u seen Cassie lately? She look half crazy. Emphasis on the word half. Lmao. Google Cassie hair. 112 left a looong time ago. Loon converted to Islam and is now known as Amir Junaid Muhadith. New Edition left. Shoot even B5 left Bad Boy. He does a horrible job of promoting his groups because at the end of the day it all comes back to Diddy. Now he's talkin bout doin this "concept album" What the hell is that? called The Last Train to Paris. U know this is just gonna be a repeat of his last album Press Play in which he featured someone on every song. Even Diddy know he can't carry a song by himself. So MTV why are u continuing to give this man show after show after show? Let's promote a talented, true mogul. I'd definitely watch a show bout Jay-Z. Sean Carter is an all around mogul. Sean Combs is not. Bottom Line. All that being said, as I write this, I am watching "Making His Band." Lmao. True story. Aye, but I refuse, I say I refuse, to watch this new Superstar show MTV giving him. That's just ludicrous poppycock.
My last beef is with the Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles. I went to get my Virginia driver's license today. I was turned away because I didn't have a passport or birth certificate. They needed to prove that I was a US citizen. What? I had my Florida driver's license, my military ID, my social security card, and proof of address. Wtf? What more proof do I need? U want a blood sample too? And it was the DMV so u know I had to wait half an hour to be turned away. And they had us waiting outside the building too. In the heat. Man, I hate the DMV. Also ludicrous poppycock.
Those are my current beefs or as Peter Griffin would say: what really grinds my gears. The only thing that I really want to happen is for my package to arrive. Tomorrow. I'll get the driver's license eventually. And Diddy will forever be on MTV. Unfortunately.
Friday, July 31, 2009
More random thoughts
Things that have been goin thru my mind lately:
- There's a certain individual, who shall remain nameless, who just might get deleted from my facebook friend list. We're really not even friends. Acquiantances maybe. Anyway. This individual makes a habit of using his/her profile status as a means to sh*t on Gville, and post empty threats. First off, i don't wanna hear about how your city is so much better than Gville and everybody in Gville is a loser. If that's the case, go home. Ur in Gville for a reason, ur education. U knew Gville was a college town before you got there. Everybody does. It's not a metropolis. Duh. Don't sh*t on the place that has provided you so many opportunities. And as far as the empty threats go, are you serious? What dude posts on his facebook status how he's gon beat another dude's *ss?! A real man would say it to his face! Not on the computer! Girls do that! Notice I said girls, not women. Which brings me to my next rant ...
- Don't put all ur business on facebook. I don't wanna know everything u and ur boo are going thru. Maybe its just cuz I'm a private person. I just really don't see why anyone would want to put all they business on the internet. (But, J. Pumpkinseed, Certified Superhero, why do you have a blog then? I told you I was bored! Besides I'm careful about what I post and I don't be using real names!) Its just not a good look in my opinion. But ya'll gon do what ya'll gon do and this ain't an advice column. So i don't really care.
- How the recession is affecting me: I went to Wal-Mart today, a Friday, at 2pm. I had trouble finding a close parking spot. Wtf? Why aren't these ppl at work? And no, it wasn't full of ppl my age, the majority of the folks in there were my parents' age. Imma need for My President to speed this new economical plan along because I need my private time at WallyWorld.
-Thumbs up: Cogan's Pizza on 21st. Don't I sound like a local? LoL. For my Gville peeps, it kinda has a Satchel's feel to it. Only more of a stoner feel than a hippie feel. And all the plates match. Our waitress wasn't that good. She didn't refill my Coke once and we were there for 4 hours. True Story. The pizza was good, not as good as Satchel's but then again, there aren't many places as good as Satchel's. There's a weird light there tho that flashes when the phone rings. Every five mins we thought the fire alarm was goin off. Also, every 10 mins the cook would yell Jaimie! at the top of his lungs. That got old, real quick. For u beer drinkers, they have like 30+ ales on tap i think. U know the kid is not a beer or wine drinker. It was a cool time tho. Real chill.
- Thumbs down: Dude we saw at Cogan's with a high top fade. Not only is that cut way past his prime, but he wasn't even wearin it right. Can't be called the Fresh Prince because it wasn't fresh. Get a line or something? When u start to lose the fade, it's time for a new cut! Now if he had the right swagger, he coulda pulled it off. But sadly that was not the case. Dare to be different but make sure u are daring when you do it differently!
- I'll admit that I do miss one big thing about the South. Southern Hospitality. When I was at Wal-Mart today, at 2pm. I couldn't help but notice how rude some of the ppl were. Leaving they cart all up in the middle of the row. Not moving out the way even tho you say excuse me several times. Takin up the entire aisle. Not bein considerate of other ppl's time. In the south we do things at a slower pace but we do act like we care about ur time. And no, I'm not sh*ttin on VA, the ppl in Wal-Mart today just pissed me off. That and not 5 mins after purchasing my full-length mirror, i cracked it trying to put it in the car.
- Been using a Garmin to get around. Gonna have to stop that cuz I'll end up relying on it and won't really learn my way around. This place is tricky tho. A lot of lanes will switch up on you and turn off onto another road or magically become turn only lanes without warning. I will learn ur ways u crafty Northern city planners. LoL. There are a lot of interstate highways here. Because there's so much water, there's also a lot of bridges and tunnels too. Drove thru my first tunnel the other day. Not tryna make that a habit. I'm not claustrophobic but I don't think anybody likes the idea of driving a car under hundreds of tons of Atlantic Ocean.
- Curry Chicken wanted me to mention plastic bra straps. They suck. Just because they're plastic doesn't mean I can't see them. They're not invisible. I wanna meet the dude/lady who invented that idea so I can shake their hand. U my friend are a genius. One word for those in the brassiere (That's right, i said brassiere. Don't act like ur not impressed) industry still making plastic bra straps: strapless.
- Went to a Triple-A baseball game the other day at Harbor Park. It was a fun time. No, I don't like baseball. Yes, I like going to baseball games. I like the atmosphere. Very laid back. I think the team's name is the Norfolk Tides. They played the Indianapolis Indians. Lost 11-3 but it was still really fun. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
- Final thoughts:
- There's a certain individual, who shall remain nameless, who just might get deleted from my facebook friend list. We're really not even friends. Acquiantances maybe. Anyway. This individual makes a habit of using his/her profile status as a means to sh*t on Gville, and post empty threats. First off, i don't wanna hear about how your city is so much better than Gville and everybody in Gville is a loser. If that's the case, go home. Ur in Gville for a reason, ur education. U knew Gville was a college town before you got there. Everybody does. It's not a metropolis. Duh. Don't sh*t on the place that has provided you so many opportunities. And as far as the empty threats go, are you serious? What dude posts on his facebook status how he's gon beat another dude's *ss?! A real man would say it to his face! Not on the computer! Girls do that! Notice I said girls, not women. Which brings me to my next rant ...
- Don't put all ur business on facebook. I don't wanna know everything u and ur boo are going thru. Maybe its just cuz I'm a private person. I just really don't see why anyone would want to put all they business on the internet. (But, J. Pumpkinseed, Certified Superhero, why do you have a blog then? I told you I was bored! Besides I'm careful about what I post and I don't be using real names!) Its just not a good look in my opinion. But ya'll gon do what ya'll gon do and this ain't an advice column. So i don't really care.
- How the recession is affecting me: I went to Wal-Mart today, a Friday, at 2pm. I had trouble finding a close parking spot. Wtf? Why aren't these ppl at work? And no, it wasn't full of ppl my age, the majority of the folks in there were my parents' age. Imma need for My President to speed this new economical plan along because I need my private time at WallyWorld.
-Thumbs up: Cogan's Pizza on 21st. Don't I sound like a local? LoL. For my Gville peeps, it kinda has a Satchel's feel to it. Only more of a stoner feel than a hippie feel. And all the plates match. Our waitress wasn't that good. She didn't refill my Coke once and we were there for 4 hours. True Story. The pizza was good, not as good as Satchel's but then again, there aren't many places as good as Satchel's. There's a weird light there tho that flashes when the phone rings. Every five mins we thought the fire alarm was goin off. Also, every 10 mins the cook would yell Jaimie! at the top of his lungs. That got old, real quick. For u beer drinkers, they have like 30+ ales on tap i think. U know the kid is not a beer or wine drinker. It was a cool time tho. Real chill.
- Thumbs down: Dude we saw at Cogan's with a high top fade. Not only is that cut way past his prime, but he wasn't even wearin it right. Can't be called the Fresh Prince because it wasn't fresh. Get a line or something? When u start to lose the fade, it's time for a new cut! Now if he had the right swagger, he coulda pulled it off. But sadly that was not the case. Dare to be different but make sure u are daring when you do it differently!
- I'll admit that I do miss one big thing about the South. Southern Hospitality. When I was at Wal-Mart today, at 2pm. I couldn't help but notice how rude some of the ppl were. Leaving they cart all up in the middle of the row. Not moving out the way even tho you say excuse me several times. Takin up the entire aisle. Not bein considerate of other ppl's time. In the south we do things at a slower pace but we do act like we care about ur time. And no, I'm not sh*ttin on VA, the ppl in Wal-Mart today just pissed me off. That and not 5 mins after purchasing my full-length mirror, i cracked it trying to put it in the car.
- Been using a Garmin to get around. Gonna have to stop that cuz I'll end up relying on it and won't really learn my way around. This place is tricky tho. A lot of lanes will switch up on you and turn off onto another road or magically become turn only lanes without warning. I will learn ur ways u crafty Northern city planners. LoL. There are a lot of interstate highways here. Because there's so much water, there's also a lot of bridges and tunnels too. Drove thru my first tunnel the other day. Not tryna make that a habit. I'm not claustrophobic but I don't think anybody likes the idea of driving a car under hundreds of tons of Atlantic Ocean.
- Curry Chicken wanted me to mention plastic bra straps. They suck. Just because they're plastic doesn't mean I can't see them. They're not invisible. I wanna meet the dude/lady who invented that idea so I can shake their hand. U my friend are a genius. One word for those in the brassiere (That's right, i said brassiere. Don't act like ur not impressed) industry still making plastic bra straps: strapless.
- Went to a Triple-A baseball game the other day at Harbor Park. It was a fun time. No, I don't like baseball. Yes, I like going to baseball games. I like the atmosphere. Very laid back. I think the team's name is the Norfolk Tides. They played the Indianapolis Indians. Lost 11-3 but it was still really fun. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
- Final thoughts:
- J. Pumpkinseed, Certified Superhero's version of ruffin it = No cable or internet for a week. I never wanna do it again.
- We have discovered large cockroaches crawling around in our newly renovated apartment. Exterminator doesn't come til next Thursday. Til then, pray for us ya'll.
- I need to work on my curbside parking. I always end up parking a foot from the curb and then having to get back in, start up the car, and repark. It's embarrassing.
- If you haven't already jumped on it, get that Trey Songz Anticipation mixtape and that Drake Heartbreak Drake 2 mixtape.
- Hot new songs: Throw it in the Bag Remix - Fabolous ft. Drake, Flight School - Kanye ft. T-Pain, Superman High - R. Kelly ft. OJ Da Juiceman, Salute - Fabolous ft. Weezy (Beat is BANANAS), Supplier - Shawty Lo ft. Trey Songz & Weezy, I'm a Beast - Pleasure P ft. Yung Joc, and Make Her Say - Kid Cudi ft. Kanye & Common. That's it. That's all I'm giving away.
- Shout out to Heathcliff and Claire. Thanks for being great rents. Shoutout to the Best Team in the SEC, BFFs, AT homies.
- Birthday Shoutouts to MeMe, Mainey F, Memphis 10, and Curry Chicken!
Popeye's + A Fire Extinguisher = Welcome to VA!!!
So I survived week 1 in Norfolk. Naw-folk? Nawr-folk? Naw-fuk? Nawr-fuk? Idk. Anyway, I finally have internet and cable which is good. I can finally tell u about some of the random things that have happened.
Well the first day that I got here me and my mom decided to go to Popeyes for dinner while my dad checked into the hotel. This is something that I thought only happened in movies. So, that's how I'm gonna tell it ...
Scene 1:
[J. Pumpkinseed and Claire enter the local Popeyes as Cashier, Drive Thru Girl, The Chef, LaShonda (Manager) are working]
[The Chef grabs some french fries and sits down at one of the dining room tables on his break.]
Cashier: Hi, how can I help you?
Claire: Hi, I'd like a #2 and a #3. Both Spicy
J. Pumpkinseed: I'd like the bonafide chicken and shrimp combo.
Cashier: For here or to go?
Claire: To go.
[Cashier walks off to bag the order and put more shrimp in the deep fryer. J. Pumpkinseed, Certified Superhero and Claire pay and wait.]
[5 minutes go by. Then a look of confusion comes over Cashier's face.]
Cashier: Shonda this thing is on fire.
LaShonda (from the back): What?
[All of a sudden the flame doubles in size. It is now face high.]
Cashier: Shonda! It's on fire!!!
[The Chef silently gets up from his chair and walks outside.]
LaShonda(running from back): What? Oh my God! Oh my God! I can't believe this! Get some water!
[LaShonda then proceeds to run around in circles.]
Claire: No! You don't put water on a grease fire!
Drive Thru Girl: Hahaha!
LaShonda: I don't know what to do. Help me! Help me please!
Drive Thru Girl: Maybe we should call 911.
J. Pumpkinseed: That would be a good idea.
Drive Thru Girl: Actually the fire department is across the street. Hahaha.
Claire: Well do you have a fire extinguisher?
Drive Thru Girl: Oh, yeah. (Gets fire extinguisher and places on counter.) Here it is.
LaShonda: I don't know how to use this. I've been asking them to show me how.
J. Pumpkinseed: You just take the pin out and spray it.
LaShonda: Can you do it? You can come back here if you want.
J. Pumpkinseed: Nah, I'm good.
[Mom unties the zip tie. J. Pumpkinseed removes the pin and sprays it to make sure it works. Then J. Pumpkinseed hands it back to LaShonda.]
J. Pumpkinseed: Here you go. Just spray it on the fire and you should be good.
[LaShonda puts out the fire. The Chef silently sneaks back in.]
Everybody: Hahaha.
LaShonda: I'm so glad ya'll were here. I don't know what I would've done.
J. Pumpkinseed (to Claire): I do. They woulda let this place burn down.
LaShonda (to Cashier): Give them whatever they want.
J. Pumpkinseed: I hope this means I get free chicken whenever I come here.
[J. Pumpkinseed, Certified Superhero and Claire exit Popeye's with a bunch of free chicken.]
And scene ...
Pretty crazy huh? True story tho. I guess that was my welcome to Norfolk. It was either the Popeye's Fiasco or the lady I saw on the median the other day.
She was an older lady wearing horizontal stripes and hula hooping on a grassy median to the boombox she had so carefully placed in a nearby tree. She waved at me. Actually she waved at all the cars that drove by. But I guess that could count as a welcome.
Well the first day that I got here me and my mom decided to go to Popeyes for dinner while my dad checked into the hotel. This is something that I thought only happened in movies. So, that's how I'm gonna tell it ...
Scene 1:
[J. Pumpkinseed and Claire enter the local Popeyes as Cashier, Drive Thru Girl, The Chef, LaShonda (Manager) are working]
[The Chef grabs some french fries and sits down at one of the dining room tables on his break.]
Cashier: Hi, how can I help you?
Claire: Hi, I'd like a #2 and a #3. Both Spicy
J. Pumpkinseed: I'd like the bonafide chicken and shrimp combo.
Cashier: For here or to go?
Claire: To go.
[Cashier walks off to bag the order and put more shrimp in the deep fryer. J. Pumpkinseed, Certified Superhero and Claire pay and wait.]
[5 minutes go by. Then a look of confusion comes over Cashier's face.]
Cashier: Shonda this thing is on fire.
LaShonda (from the back): What?
[All of a sudden the flame doubles in size. It is now face high.]
Cashier: Shonda! It's on fire!!!
[The Chef silently gets up from his chair and walks outside.]
LaShonda(running from back): What? Oh my God! Oh my God! I can't believe this! Get some water!
[LaShonda then proceeds to run around in circles.]
Claire: No! You don't put water on a grease fire!
Drive Thru Girl: Hahaha!
LaShonda: I don't know what to do. Help me! Help me please!
Drive Thru Girl: Maybe we should call 911.
J. Pumpkinseed: That would be a good idea.
Drive Thru Girl: Actually the fire department is across the street. Hahaha.
Claire: Well do you have a fire extinguisher?
Drive Thru Girl: Oh, yeah. (Gets fire extinguisher and places on counter.) Here it is.
LaShonda: I don't know how to use this. I've been asking them to show me how.
J. Pumpkinseed: You just take the pin out and spray it.
LaShonda: Can you do it? You can come back here if you want.
J. Pumpkinseed: Nah, I'm good.
[Mom unties the zip tie. J. Pumpkinseed removes the pin and sprays it to make sure it works. Then J. Pumpkinseed hands it back to LaShonda.]
J. Pumpkinseed: Here you go. Just spray it on the fire and you should be good.
[LaShonda puts out the fire. The Chef silently sneaks back in.]
Everybody: Hahaha.
LaShonda: I'm so glad ya'll were here. I don't know what I would've done.
J. Pumpkinseed (to Claire): I do. They woulda let this place burn down.
LaShonda (to Cashier): Give them whatever they want.
J. Pumpkinseed: I hope this means I get free chicken whenever I come here.
[J. Pumpkinseed, Certified Superhero and Claire exit Popeye's with a bunch of free chicken.]
And scene ...
Pretty crazy huh? True story tho. I guess that was my welcome to Norfolk. It was either the Popeye's Fiasco or the lady I saw on the median the other day.
She was an older lady wearing horizontal stripes and hula hooping on a grassy median to the boombox she had so carefully placed in a nearby tree. She waved at me. Actually she waved at all the cars that drove by. But I guess that could count as a welcome.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Last FL Post!!!
Ok peeps. I know its been a minute since I blessed ya'll wit another blog ... My b. I've been busy. Let's see, what have I done? Crossed a few more things off that list. I know I didn't get everything done but I'm glad with the few things I accomplished.
Packed up my apartment and chucked up the deuces to Gville. (of course not without some roommate drama).
Came to Trigga City AKA T-Town AKA 813rd. Oh yeah, AKA Tampa.
Leavin the 813 for the 757 tomorrow morning. 6am to be exact. Soo excited for a 12 hr drive with Claire and Cliff.
Yep that's right. Leavin the Sunshine State for the ... umm, Idk what they call VA. Note to self: look up VA's nickname.
Anywho, leaving familiarity for independence. Maybe that's it! Virginia the Independent State? No for some reason I don't think that's right ... The Land of Independence? The Land of Jefferson?
Okay. Now for some random thoughts:
1) Cliff wants to write Animal Planet cuz he thinks they have too many shows about domesticated animals. That's right. Who cares about cats and dogs? If I'm watchin tv I wanna watch a cheetah chasing a wildebeest. I can watch my dog lick himself at home.
2) One example of how English is the hardest language to learn: enough. Think about it. If I was just learning English I'd prolly pronounce the word ee-NOWG. No way I'd look at that and say ee-NUFF. I mean who got to decide that that's how u spell that word? And we make fun of people who can't speak English ...
SHOUTOUTS: Port Orange, Curry Chicken, Peter Parker, Deuce, Madu, LiLBruh, Best Team on Campus, all my Gville Homies, All the blog subscribers ...
Which reminds me, don't just read, COMMENT!!!
Don't just read, SUBSCRIBE!!!
Packed up my apartment and chucked up the deuces to Gville. (of course not without some roommate drama).
Came to Trigga City AKA T-Town AKA 813rd. Oh yeah, AKA Tampa.
Leavin the 813 for the 757 tomorrow morning. 6am to be exact. Soo excited for a 12 hr drive with Claire and Cliff.
Yep that's right. Leavin the Sunshine State for the ... umm, Idk what they call VA. Note to self: look up VA's nickname.
Anywho, leaving familiarity for independence. Maybe that's it! Virginia the Independent State? No for some reason I don't think that's right ... The Land of Independence? The Land of Jefferson?
Okay. Now for some random thoughts:
1) Cliff wants to write Animal Planet cuz he thinks they have too many shows about domesticated animals. That's right. Who cares about cats and dogs? If I'm watchin tv I wanna watch a cheetah chasing a wildebeest. I can watch my dog lick himself at home.
2) One example of how English is the hardest language to learn: enough. Think about it. If I was just learning English I'd prolly pronounce the word ee-NOWG. No way I'd look at that and say ee-NUFF. I mean who got to decide that that's how u spell that word? And we make fun of people who can't speak English ...
SHOUTOUTS: Port Orange, Curry Chicken, Peter Parker, Deuce, Madu, LiLBruh, Best Team on Campus, all my Gville Homies, All the blog subscribers ...
Which reminds me, don't just read, COMMENT!!!
Don't just read, SUBSCRIBE!!!
Monday, July 13, 2009
Random sights of the week ...
*Saw a crazy club fight. Involved several drag queens large enough to be on the football team and several women. Idk how it started but it ended with everyone clearing the club. Continued outside the club and onto the street. Security couldn't stop it. Neither could the cops. I heard and then saw a taser in the hands of a drag queen the size of a offensive lineman. Not two minutes later, I saw a drag queen walking around brandishing a fire extinguisher. By far the strangest club fight I've ever seen. True Story ...
**While fishing, for the first time, one of my friends caught a stingray which is useless. It was fat and we figured it had just eaten a large fish. As the stingray lay on the sidewalk dying brown stuff started coming out a hole. We assumed that it was pooping on itself. It was night time and we could hardly see so Curry Chicken used my camera to take a picture with the flash. It was then that we realized we were watching 3 baby stingrays come into the world. Prolly one of the weirdest things I've ever seen. True Story ...
**While fishing, for the first time, one of my friends caught a stingray which is useless. It was fat and we figured it had just eaten a large fish. As the stingray lay on the sidewalk dying brown stuff started coming out a hole. We assumed that it was pooping on itself. It was night time and we could hardly see so Curry Chicken used my camera to take a picture with the flash. It was then that we realized we were watching 3 baby stingrays come into the world. Prolly one of the weirdest things I've ever seen. True Story ...
Random thought of the moment ...
Random thought: So I was driving down I-75 and traffic was killin me when I got to thinking. Where are all the jetpacks? I mean think about it. We have sent men to the moon. Hundreds of airplanes are flying through the air at any point in time. WE HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT! Surely by now I should be cruisin around in the latest model jetpack instead of having to deal with afternoon traffic.
To be completely honest with you, I think that such jetpacks do exist. However, I believe that the automobile industry has paid the jetpack inventors to keep their mouths shut. Well my mysterious jetpack innovators, now is the time to stand up and be counted! The world is ready now!
To be completely honest with you, I think that such jetpacks do exist. However, I believe that the automobile industry has paid the jetpack inventors to keep their mouths shut. Well my mysterious jetpack innovators, now is the time to stand up and be counted! The world is ready now!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
(Gville) To do list ...
Ok so trust, this won't happen very often. But ur girl, J. Pumpkinseed, Certified Superhero, will be moving my cape to a different city. I'm leavin Gangstaville in a mere matter of days and relocating to VA. Packing is lonely, and depressing. I wish I could just snap my fingers and have everything magically appear boxed up and in my car. Right now that's at the top of my inventions list. Right above to LiLBruh's U-Turn signal (yeah think about it. Tell me that's not a great idea). Anywho, it's really startin to hit me that I'm really gonna miss this place. Mostly the ppl i've come to call friends.
*Random sidenote: Watching "16 and Pregnant." Dude went to Wal-Mart to buy his girl's engagement ring. Total came to $21.40 (Yes, MTV put him out there). But then he goes on to ask the lady at the counter about the Return Policy. WTF? Idk why anyone would return a $20 engagement ring. First off, I'd be too embarrassed. Second, you could totally wrap that up and regift it to your grandma for Christmas. ... Now back to the mushy note.
I guess it didn't really hit me til the other night when i was sitting in the empty apartment by myself. I'm really leaving and moving out on my own so to speak. I should be used to picking up and leaving but it's weird cuz this time i'm doin it alone. No LiLBruh. No Heathcliff. No Claire. Which is cool. Kinda scary but still cool.
Anyway, I now find myself scrambling to do all the things I wanted to do but haven't. Its impossible. Hopefully, I'll scratch a few off this weekend.
1) I can already scratch off going to the bank and being chauffeured around by Deuce.
2) Curry Chicken already made me some curry chicken.
3) I think i need one more trip to the beach wit Curry Chicken, Port Orange, and Peter Parker
4) Buy a shell necklace at above beach.
5) Learn how to fish.
6) Chill wit Peter Parker for a whole day. (No video games)
7) Chill wit Deuce and prove once and for all that i'm taller. (No cell phones). LoL. J/k. U couldn't do it.
8) Go to Captain D's wit Madu.
9) Go bowling wit the Usual Suspects.
10) Make hot CDs for Staph and Lumpia.
11) Lose at dominoes to Jamaica's Next Top Model.
12) Go out with the Cutest Team in the SEC again.
13) Go to Tropical Smoothie after the club (yes, they're open 24/7 now).
14) Have a BBQ.
15) Go to Satchel's with Curry Chicken, Peter Parker, and McPatty's Fave.
And that's only the one's that I can name off the top of my head. See what i'm saying? Nowhere enough time. But i'll keep u updated. Maybe by the time i leave everything will be crossed off. This has been a long, rampled post so i'll stop now. Bottom line: I'm gonna miss everybody. There I said it.
One more closing thought: I just ate a 6-pack of oreos and drank 2 glasses of tropical punch kool-aid. Don't ever do that. I feel like my teeth are gonna fall out.
*Random sidenote: Watching "16 and Pregnant." Dude went to Wal-Mart to buy his girl's engagement ring. Total came to $21.40 (Yes, MTV put him out there). But then he goes on to ask the lady at the counter about the Return Policy. WTF? Idk why anyone would return a $20 engagement ring. First off, I'd be too embarrassed. Second, you could totally wrap that up and regift it to your grandma for Christmas. ... Now back to the mushy note.
I guess it didn't really hit me til the other night when i was sitting in the empty apartment by myself. I'm really leaving and moving out on my own so to speak. I should be used to picking up and leaving but it's weird cuz this time i'm doin it alone. No LiLBruh. No Heathcliff. No Claire. Which is cool. Kinda scary but still cool.
Anyway, I now find myself scrambling to do all the things I wanted to do but haven't. Its impossible. Hopefully, I'll scratch a few off this weekend.
2) Curry Chicken already made me some curry chicken.
3) I think i need one more trip to the beach wit Curry Chicken, Port Orange, and Peter Parker
4) Buy a shell necklace at above beach.
6) Chill wit Peter Parker for a whole day. (No video games)
7) Chill wit Deuce and prove once and for all that i'm taller. (No cell phones). LoL. J/k. U couldn't do it.
8) Go to Captain D's wit Madu.
11) Lose at dominoes to Jamaica's Next Top Model.
12) Go out with the Cutest Team in the SEC again.
14) Have a BBQ.
And that's only the one's that I can name off the top of my head. See what i'm saying? Nowhere enough time. But i'll keep u updated. Maybe by the time i leave everything will be crossed off. This has been a long, rampled post so i'll stop now. Bottom line: I'm gonna miss everybody. There I said it.
One more closing thought: I just ate a 6-pack of oreos and drank 2 glasses of tropical punch kool-aid. Don't ever do that. I feel like my teeth are gonna fall out.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Model Parent?
So yesterday a friend and I went to the beach. We were chillin takin in the sun (don't worry I had plenty of my SPF 50 on) when we heard the lady next to us make an interesting comment. Her kids were running out to go play in the water when she said:
"When the waves come in and they start to take you, don't fight it. Just go with the wave. Let the wave take you. Then after it takes you, stand up and you'll be fine."
Ok, so I'm not a swimming expert. Nor am I a parent. However, I don't think you should tell ur kids to "let the wake take them." Plus, if the kid did listen to their mom and rode the wave, wouldn't they be further away from shore and in deeper water, thereby making it impossible for them to stand up? Idk. Maybe it's just me. Still scratching my head on that one ...
"When the waves come in and they start to take you, don't fight it. Just go with the wave. Let the wave take you. Then after it takes you, stand up and you'll be fine."
Ok, so I'm not a swimming expert. Nor am I a parent. However, I don't think you should tell ur kids to "let the wake take them." Plus, if the kid did listen to their mom and rode the wave, wouldn't they be further away from shore and in deeper water, thereby making it impossible for them to stand up? Idk. Maybe it's just me. Still scratching my head on that one ...
Friday, July 3, 2009
So the Drake video is still puzzling me. Seriously, all he had to do was get one girl and go thru the stereotypical love videos and it woulda been a wrap. I coulda directed the video.
Enter: Drake and some random girl (probably light-skinned with "good hair", let's be real).
Scene 1: Drake and video vixen walking in the park eating ice cream
Scene 2: Drake and vixen are seen eating lunch at an old school diner (for some reason those are popular in music videos)
Scene 3: They go on a date, probably to the movies. Maybe even a drive-in.
Fade to black ...
Seriously it's that easy. What makes me mad I guess is Drake's own explanation for the concept of the video.
"Some of us younger men, we refer to our affiliation with women like a roster," Drake said, explaining the clip's concept to MTV News. "You have key women in your life when you're single and doing your thing."
Although, what Drake says is in reality probably true. I still think it is a pathetic excuse for an even more pathetic video. That's it. I'm done. No more talking about this video.
Enter: Drake and some random girl (probably light-skinned with "good hair", let's be real).
Scene 1: Drake and video vixen walking in the park eating ice cream
Scene 2: Drake and vixen are seen eating lunch at an old school diner (for some reason those are popular in music videos)
Scene 3: They go on a date, probably to the movies. Maybe even a drive-in.
Fade to black ...
Seriously it's that easy. What makes me mad I guess is Drake's own explanation for the concept of the video.
"Some of us younger men, we refer to our affiliation with women like a roster," Drake said, explaining the clip's concept to MTV News. "You have key women in your life when you're single and doing your thing."
Although, what Drake says is in reality probably true. I still think it is a pathetic excuse for an even more pathetic video. That's it. I'm done. No more talking about this video.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Worst I Ever Had ...
Drake finally debuted the video for his song "Best I Ever Had."
It sucks.
I didn't expect a whole lot from the video but I definitely didn't expect the above. Seriously all Drizzy had to do is get one girl and rap to her the entire video and I woulda been happy. Woulda been cheaper too (we're in a recession). But instead he decided to make it into ur average video vixen video. Now I know there's a bunch of theories out there about the video. Some ppl think that the girls on the team are the ones who think the song is about them when reality it isn't. They're really just "on his team" but could never be his MVP. Others say the video portrays Drake as a coach cuz he's runnin game on the girls.
My theory: Kanye wanted to direct this video so he could kill Drake's hype. That or he just really doesn't know what a video director does. I could see the 1st but it's probably the latter.
Fried Chicken Conspiracy
A friend and I (who shall remain nameless unless she wants a shoutout) were sitting in the drive-thru at Popeye's for, no lie, like 20 mins. I had already eaten so I was good but my friend was hungry and pissed that it was taking so long. This is the conversation that followed:
Friend: U know, I don't understand why places like KFC and Popeye's always take so long!
Me: What do you mean?
Friend: Well they already know what I want ... chicken! It should already be done. All they have to do is put it in the box.
Me: Well that's a good point. But most chicken places are in the hood and you know how ppl in the hood are. They not gon rush if they don't want to.
Friend: But still! All they have to do is put it in the box. Even if they just threw some chicken in the box they'd probably still be right half the time!
Interesting point. I brought this same topic up to my brother and as usual he had a conspiracy about it. Apparently because there are really only 3 major fried chicken joints in the country (well at least the south): Popeye's, KFC, and Church's. Because they don't have as much competition as places like McDonald's, they came together and agreed that there's no need to rush. So basically, if you're sitting in the drive-thru at Popeye's there's really no reason to get out and go to KFC because they're gonna take just as long. According to my brother that's just good business ...
Friend: U know, I don't understand why places like KFC and Popeye's always take so long!
Me: What do you mean?
Friend: Well they already know what I want ... chicken! It should already be done. All they have to do is put it in the box.
Me: Well that's a good point. But most chicken places are in the hood and you know how ppl in the hood are. They not gon rush if they don't want to.
Friend: But still! All they have to do is put it in the box. Even if they just threw some chicken in the box they'd probably still be right half the time!
Interesting point. I brought this same topic up to my brother and as usual he had a conspiracy about it. Apparently because there are really only 3 major fried chicken joints in the country (well at least the south): Popeye's, KFC, and Church's. Because they don't have as much competition as places like McDonald's, they came together and agreed that there's no need to rush. So basically, if you're sitting in the drive-thru at Popeye's there's really no reason to get out and go to KFC because they're gonna take just as long. According to my brother that's just good business ...
Jerrell's new phrase ...
My brother tends to invent sayings and this blog by no means is meant to be serious so every now and then stupid stuff will appear on here i.e., the following phrase:
Stranger Farts = When you pass gas and it doesn't smell like your usual brand. It smells like that of a stranger.
*Instead of "pass gas" I was going to put flatulate but apparently that isn't a word. Soooo, where the hell does the word flatulence come from. And furthermore, what is the proper term for farting?
Stranger Farts = When you pass gas and it doesn't smell like your usual brand. It smells like that of a stranger.
*Instead of "pass gas" I was going to put flatulate but apparently that isn't a word. Soooo, where the hell does the word flatulence come from. And furthermore, what is the proper term for farting?
Abolition of the Leap Year
Just realized that when I have kids, i don't want any of them to be born on February 29th. That would suck. Why do we even put that day on the calendar? Actually, why do we even have such thing as a leap year? Why don't we just officially add an extra day to the calendar? Seriously, if someone just decided that every year would include 366 days, we would never know the difference. We should count February 29th every year. Who gets to decide that? Obama's about change. I think I'm gonna make up a petition and present it to him. I'll get all the Leapers (c'mon ,use those context clues) to sign it. The rest of the world loves Obama so once we get him on board it'll be a breeze to get it to the United Nations.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
First blog. Ever. In my life ...
So, why did i decide to blog? Idk. Probably boredom. That usually sparks the majority of my random actions and comments.
i tend to ramble. which you'll soon notice. and i don't always write complete sentences. (this isn't an essay).
i write things as i think them. deal with it. j/k. but seriously.
ok honestly bored with this first entry so i'm gonna end it. wait i should seem somewhat excited so i'm gonna end it like this!
i tend to ramble. which you'll soon notice. and i don't always write complete sentences. (this isn't an essay).
i write things as i think them. deal with it. j/k. but seriously.
ok honestly bored with this first entry so i'm gonna end it. wait i should seem somewhat excited so i'm gonna end it like this!
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